LogFAQs > #978912486

- Kuribo's Shoe Tier
Kuribo's Shoe: It's such a stupid power-up, but it's sort of emblematic of what makes Mario as a series so unique and good. It's just a hodgepodge of weird ideas that make no logical sense, but because they form such a solid aesthetic, you just sort of accept it.
Luigi: Luigi is the embodiment of being overshadowed. He is the Janet Jackson of video games. It is insane how 100% of Luigi's personality comes from Luigi's Mansion. Before that, he was just Green Mario. Like, they radically changed Luigi's entire personality for their comedy-horror game, and then they actually stuck by that. It's like the only piece of continuity in the entire series, is Luigi being a coward. Everything else shifts constantly EXCEPT his personality. And it even sort of fits the fact that Luigi is better at jumping than Mario, yet doesn't get the credit. But man, Luigi. He's the ultimate #2 in all of fiction. I guess that's really Tails, since Tails is the #2 #2, but I'm giving it to Luigi. Once we get to the other human characters, I'll have more to say about them philosophically, but Luigi as a character just exists to be Player 2, and then just stuck around because he was useful as a character to the series. Poor Luigi. Remember the Year of Luigi being a whole lot of nothing? They can't even decide what his relation to other characters is besides Mario. Does he have a thing going with Daisy? Does Bowser care about him at all? Who knows!
Super Mario Maker 2: I am fully onboard with Nintendo legitimizing fan creations. No complaints here.

- Hammer Suit Tier
Chris Pratt: I've never seen Parks and Rec, so my Chris Pratt exposure is limited entirely to Guardians of the Galaxy, the Mario movie, and the Jurassic World movies. Oh wait, he was in the Lego Movie? And the Magnificent Seven reboot? He's married to Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter? And he's related to the Kennedies? Goddamn, this guy is more interesting than I thought. Anyway, I'll just rate his chops as an actor, and he's fine. He is perfectly serviceable as Action Man in the Jurassic World movies. I mean, those movies are awful, but it's not his fault. He's fine in Guardians, but I wouldn't really say he elevates those movies. I could imagine him being replaced and it not really changing much. He's fine as a comedic presence, too. Look, he's fine. He's not great, he's not a draw for me, he's just fine. Mildly above average in terms of how much I care about actors.
SupperMarioBroth: I love it. Great idea. I was going to save this rant for later, but obviously Mario lore is the stupidest type of lore in video games. It's even dumber than caring about Zelda and Pokemon lore. I won't go into this yet because I'm sure we'll get way more into this at some later point, but mocking Mario lore as a concept by correctly explaining it is a great idea. I really like the detail of Waluigi's cap having a sticker that's coming off.

- Super Mushroom Tier
Hide and Seek mods: I had to look this up, I'd never heard of it. I watched a bit of Mario Odyssey hide and seek, and it seemed like a creative use of the materials by fans, so I'm a little impressed. I hate LPers who just scream and overreact a lot, though.
Donkey Kong (1981): I sort of hate ranking REALLY old games, because I inevitably feel like a jackass for saying that I just don't enjoy them as much as most modern games. I know Donkey Kong was a huge deal when it came out, I know it changed everything, I know, I know... But like, if you ask me which I find more fun, Donkey Kong 1981 or, like, most random indie roguelikes on Steam? If I'm being honest, I sort of have to say the latter. But it is crazy how much video game lore tracks back to this random stupid video game from the early 80s. Is this the first video game where a hero rescues a kidnapped woman?
Tonkachi Mario: Oh, is this just a really old romhack? Oh Jesus, 1987, that is indeed an old romhack. Too old to even be called a romhack, huh? I was going to give this a low rank for being kind of boring compared to other Mario romhacks I've seen, but 1987? It deserves some points just for that alone.
Anya Taylor-Joy: What's the Mario connection... Ah, she voices Peach in the movie. She's fine. I don't really want to give her points as Peach in the movie, but as a voice actress, she did fine. I'm not going to lie to you, the only person in that movie whose performance rises above "fine" is Jack Black. Have I seen anything else with her... Oh, Split and Glass. I guess she's fine? She's the girl in The Menu, that movie is good. Okay.
Kublai Khan: Can I just say, it's so bizarre that Genghis Khan and his ilk are usable as just silly historical figures in comedies. They murdered SO many people. I guess this is the power of time healing all wounds. How are the Mongols remembered in like China and the Middle-East? Obviously, in the West, they're remembered as like insane barbarian murderers.