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TopicBoard 8 Ranks the ABCs of Death [RANKINGS + next project poll]
Johnbobb
06/12/22 12:22:24 PM
#318:


18. Y is for Youngbuck
Created by: Jason Eisener
Best known for: Hobo with a Shotgun
Score: 219

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjQ2sAIGvfw

John: 3
jcgamer: 6
Snake: 9
Mythiot: 9
TomNook: 15
Raka: 29
Inviso: 33
Karo: 35
plasma: 38
Suprak: 42

John
just fuckin bleeds style through and through

jcgamer
I really wish the old guy had gotten killed before he started lapping up sweat, but once I saw his head go through the hoop, I was sold. Good music as well. 2 points.

Snake
Wow Tim Dunn literally has the best look for a role like this. Quick, dirty, and nasty approach of a serious subject matter

Tom
The tone is weird, but this one succeeds at being creepy, so I'll give it a win.

Raka
It's pretty well-shot and man that janitor looks disturbing while still looking like a human. I didn't really expect it to be a revenge film, but that was a pretty creative and well-deserved death. ...as a side note, people definitely don't accumulate sweat that much.

Inviso
I mean, this was gross and weird, so kudos on the actor for playing a convincing pedophile? Good job? Still, at least he got what was coming to him after weirdly licking up ass sweat from a bench. It was a satisfying conclusion, thats for damn sure.

Karo
A revenge story where an abused boy decapitates his abuser while wearing the corpse of a deer and then proceeds to fuck the dismembered head and I don't want to watch these anymore please send help

plasma
John Malkovichs stunt-double licks adolescent sweat off a gymnasium bleacher to the beat of 80s synth music while several flashbacks clue us in on backstory Id rather not be privy to. The ending, I will admit, is satisfying when the kid executes John Malkovichs stunt-double by impaling the bastards eye socket with buckhorns. I laughed. D-

Suprak
I dont know what the fuck is up with the music choices in this movie, but this is like the fourth vignette where the director just decided to pump up some public domain piece of garbage soundtrack in the background so they didnt have to worry about writing actual dialogue or doing any work on sound editing. The song itself sounds like something that would play during a training montage in an 80s movie about arm wrestling, and it doesnt fit with what the hell is going on. They at least cast the right guy to play the creepy pervert, and he looks like what would happen is a testicle wished itself to become a man and then became a sex offender. This is another short that just goes for gross out shock value, and they throw pedophilia on top of it to make things even less watchable. You have things like that arrow being shot from five different perspectives to make it look like it was this guys first attempt at filming something and it just sort of looks like it was filmed by a hack. Ripping off a pedophiles head and shooting it through a basketball hoop should be more fun than this.

17. X is for XXL
Created by: Xavier Gens
Best known for: Hitman (2007), The Crucifixion
Score: 214

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtBLDQXWkus

Suprak: 3
John: 8
Snake: 11
Tomnook: 17
plasma: 18
jcgamer: 21
Mythiot: 25
Raka: 34
Karo: 38
Inviso: 39

Suprak
This is about as good as you can do with this concept while taking it seriously, I feel like. A vignette actually works here and any longer would diminish the idea. You have this good set up where this woman is meeting every rude person you can possibly imagine and then you have the whole ending scene filmed about as brutally as you can imagine. This one was hard to watch, but not just for all the cutting at the end. I found out that if you find someone slurping on food in a certain way, I come very close to gagging which was a new discovery for me. The ending shot where she finally has the body she thinks she wants after cutting away so much of herself is brilliant and is just such an unsettling image by itself. A really good examination of self-loathing and body image and public pressure. Some of the jump cuts get a little discombobulating but I feel like that is kind of the point so Im not going to dock it too much, and this is one of the few shorts in the first film where you can tell the director is actually really talented.

John
probably the most horrified I was at any point in either movie

Snake
Everyones an asshole then oh my god the body horror. Nice and simple with effective results.

Tomnook
Good as a short, and could also be a decent feature length film.

plasma
Easily the grossest film in the entire collection. Watching the woman stuff her face with whatever slop she keeps in her fridge ruined my appetite for about 43 hours. That aside, this short makes great use of body horror to convey the womans self-loathing and image issues. Seeing her step out of the shower all cut-down and bloody was one of the strongest images in any of these shorts. B-

jcgamer
Well that was something. Brutal to watch but a good concept.

Raka
Right off the bat, this one is excellent psychological horror, especially if you have body image issues. The self-mutilation scene is also quite disturbing but not just gory for the sake of it, interpersed with that image of the slim model prancing around. Huh. It worked for a little bit. Good for her.

Karo
This fat lady is made fun of in a bizarre manner like everyone is still in elementary school or internet trolls, and because of this she flays herself alive. It's not very good.

Inviso
This one had an extreme overabundance of gross imagery, from the binging to the cutting, and I just felt bad for the main character, that things were that bad for her. It was largely unpleasant to watch though, even if it told a distinct message.


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