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| Topic | Board 8 Ranks 2010s Horror Movies - *THE RANKINGS* |
| Snake5555555555 05/14/22 8:05:57 PM #25: | fortybelowsummer - I remember when, for some reason, everyone was talking about this movie. I still dont know why. I guess because the whole having to be blindfolded thing led to some prodigious memeing and also, the Sandra Bullock effect. She is solid in this, as she usually is, and there are some good supporting performances, but the material isnt overly exciting. I think it suffers some from being around at the same time as the far superior Quiet Place. I always like the beginning of movies where some sort of mass outbreak happens, and things gradually go from normal to all hell breaking loose. This one does it pretty well, if pretty standard, and there are some gnarly suicides (slowly getting into a burning car anyone? Step in front of a dump truck?) The whole traveling on the river thing was mostly unnecessary, though, and the time could have been spent explaining other things that just never get explained. Overall, not terrible but too flawed to be anywhere but near the bottom. rockus - It was a three way race to the bottom between Bird Box, VHS, and Terrifier and Bird Box benefits largely because I liked John Malkovich in it (Paulson and Rhodes are all right too but the movie largely wastes their talents) and it doesnt feel like it was made by a 15 year old. Difficult not to compare this to A Quiet Place, another sense driven monster movie from the same year, but while that looks like a movie this just looks awful (and cheap). A lot of TV movie of the week coverage and its dull as a board. I suspect it intercuts the river sequence in an attempt to have something relatively exciting happen throughout the duration of the movie and even that isnt much help. Also somewhat thematically similar to A Quiet Place but while that film mines its dramatic conflict emotionally and makes some thrilling sequences out of it and constantly has it on its mind, Bird Box fails to do anything meaningful with it. It never feels like Malories prospective motherhood is really weighing on her other than portraying her as cynical about it until she accepts it in the very end. Terrible looking poorly thought out movie. Johnbobb - this movie's big emotional revelation is the main protagonist's realization that maybe her kids deserve to have a name and this is for some reason the person we were supposed to be rooting for fuck you sandra bullock this movie is shit Lightning_Strikes - Surviving is not living. Bird Box is a very unfortunate film in that both its premise and its release schedule invite comparisons to A Quiet Place. The issue of course is that The Quiet Place is a fantastic film and Bird Box is just not very good. The dialogue is terrible, the interleaved timeline is pointless, the acting is inconsistent at best, and it generally lacks the kind of consistent tension that makes its competitor great. Now, I do not think this is a terrible film, more a profoundly mediocre one which makes it harder to talk about than a really bad one. There is some good stuff here, the scene where they are driving to the supermarket in a car with all the windows and windscreen entirely covered is great - you dont know exactly what theyre hearing or feeling outside. It does get a little better as it goes and things start to feel more high stakes than people sitting in a house with the curtains closed. One issue with the film is that it seems to bend its own rules for the purpose of the plot. Now, thats not to get all CinemaSins about it, but in a film like this where it is using a high concept to create drama and exploring the different possible outcomes it diminishes that premise. The fact that after not allowing the audience to see the creatures as the characters cant we see glimpses of them near the end greatly cheapens this effect. Similarly, the degree of threat from looking outside is so clearly whatever the film wants it makes the whole thing very transparent. The film is not by any stretch dreadful, but it fails to effectively use its strong setup to elicit anything from the audience. 2/5 Biggest scare: The car sequence. Plasmabeam - Perfect example of why some books shouldnt be made into movies. The reason why the book works is because of the indescribable nature of the Lovecraftian monsterswhen you read the book, you are right under the blindfold with Malorie, wondering and worrying about the creatures that kill you the moment you see them. But the movie robs us of this unique POV and ultimately delivers an underwhelming apocalyptic thriller. This feels more like an overlong TV episode than a feature film, and John Malkovich goes to waste, which is inexcusable. FFDragon - The only actively offensive movie on this list and an even more offensive misuse of John Malkovich. Snake - Bird Box is an interesting concept done rather plainly. Compared to the subversive and progressive horror films we got this decade, Bird Box almost feels like a relic of the past. Sandra Bullock to me is like one of those "movie star's movie stars" - a typical box-office draw who is servicable but never elevates the material to the next level. The film draws from modern day post-apocalyptic fiction and classic Lovecraft - the idea of forcing others to witness the horror is fantastic, and also plays into the way the film was distributed and viewed by people. The way it all plays out is just one I've seen many times now though - Dawn of the Dead, The Walking Dead, Planet of the Apes - you have your bog-standard group, you have the jerk, the good-hearted one, the kinda-asshole but also likable one - they all get picked off one way or another, then you're left with the lone survivor. Bird Box would love to commentate on how we turn a blind eye to everyday horrors, but instead it focuses too much on the Hollywood moments we as audiences "know and love" and in the end provides nothing meaningful to the conversation or the horror canon, despite its popularity. thesmark - Oh god, this is way too long. It makes you appreciate how much better the writing is for A Quiet Place, given they have somewhat similar premises. The characters in this movie are so much weaker/flatter and the dialogue is considerably worse, people are constantly making terrible decisions and I thought we were done with the woman needs a man and children to complete herself narratives after Jurassic World but I guess not. I mean, if you were to describe Trevante Rhodes character, what could you even say about him other than flawless and attractive human being, and he gets 2nd billing. John Malkovich is also going 300% Malkovich here and it gets very old very fast. The horror scenes themselves gave me some real The Happening vibes, whichis not a compliment. Bad. --- I've decided to put my fears behind me. I'm not going back. https://www.instagram.com/horror_obscurities/ ... Copied to Clipboard! |
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