LogFAQs > #964886836

Hoodroar posted...

Does literally anyone have a good experience dating someone with BPD to counter the negative anecdotes?

Like we have people saying, "this was terrible" and other people saying, "well you don't know if it's always terrible" and it's just a meaningless point. People refuse to date others over much less severe red flags.

CRON posted...

This is what frustrates me. I've personally never seen any instance of people having a good or even remotely positive story involving being in a relationship with someone suffering from BPD.

The discourse, at least these days, always seems to be between people who have been victims of abuse, and people dismissing it as "ahem, you're generalizing. Not everyone with BPD is an abuser".

I don't want people to be abused. I don't want people to fall victim to manipulation tactics and suffer.

Honestly, the best you are going to get is people like myself and others (I think Gobs said this earlier in the topic) where 60% of the time she was the most wonderful thing ever, but the other 40% she was Satan. I would put my personal experience at a slightly different percentage. 75% of the time she was the greatest and most kindest person I have ever known. However, 25% of the time she was the damn Devil and did some truly horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE things. While 25% of the time might not sound like a lot, it is when that 25% makes you feel like a lobster being dipped into 300 degree boiling water. It's bad. REALLY bad.

To put this in video game terms (since this is primarily a video game website), pick your favorite game or one of your favorite games of all time (Elden Ring, Mario 64, Final Fantasy 7, whatever). Imagine if 75% of the time you were allowed to play your favorite game... you are going to be in a great mood and be very happy, obviously. But imagine if the other 25% of the time your console / PC / portable / whatever decides to NOT let you play your game and instead decides to threaten to erase your save file, proceeds to ELECTROCUTE you, starts shooting feces at you, starts cursing you the fuck out while it threatens to smoother you with a pillow over your face while you sleep, and pull a bunch of other shit that makes the computer from 2001 Space Odyssey look like a Care Bear in comparison. Yeah, it's only happening 25 times out of 100, but it's still pretty fucking severe.

Now, is what I'm saying anecdotal? Yes, I don't have hard statistics that I threw together using hard data and a statistics computer program to back up what I'm saying. However, to paraphrase an old story, if someone asks 10 people if they should go into a town and almost all those people start screaming warnings while telling their personal experiences with that town and saying there is some horrible shit that they personally experienced in that town, it would be very wise to NOT ignore those stories and take them into very strong consideration on whether one should be entering that town or turning the car around and trying to go somewhere else.