Current Events > So I googled the girl I'm supposed to go out with. She has BPD

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BigMeatyClaws
05/08/22 5:00:46 AM
#1:


Borderline personality disorder. Im feeding into the stigma but this makes me worried.

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#2
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viewmaster_pi
05/08/22 5:07:27 AM
#3:


well you have BMC, so it's fine

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Malcrasternus
05/08/22 5:08:40 AM
#4:


https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/2/6/AAL4msAADNZu.jpg

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FelineCyborg
05/08/22 5:09:54 AM
#5:


Why would googling somebody give your their mental health history? Was she committed or something?

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darkmaian23
05/08/22 5:34:10 AM
#6:


I'm going to be that guy: do yourself a favor and run away now. The "stigma" surrounding BPD comes from clinicians who won't take BPD patients because of their professional insurance disallowing it due to liability or because it is too exhausting and horrible, and from the people who had a parent with BPD, and from people who have dated them. It didn't spring up from nowhere.

Go read the stories on Reddit about what people have gone through or are going through. Are all people with BPD like that? No, of course not. Do some people make it work? You bet! But here is the thing my dude: you don't have any obligation to start a relationship with anyone. Look out for number one here and dodge that bullet.
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QueenCarly
05/08/22 5:37:48 AM
#7:


At least give them a chance, people are not their diagnosis.

i say despite my depression havingbasically consumed every aspect of my life so what do I really know
u
But for real, go in as you would with anyone. Give them an honest chance.

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Kim_Seong-a
05/08/22 5:45:08 AM
#8:


I'm on the "give them a chance" train. It's just a date, not an eternal blood oath. If things don't go well you can always just cut things off.

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Kaiganeer
05/08/22 5:48:23 AM
#9:


cancel the date but be honest about the reason
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BignutzisBack
05/08/22 5:51:19 AM
#10:


BigMeatyClaws posted...
Borderline personality disorder.

Please run for the hills, I have two friends whose lives have essentially been destroyed by women with borderline personality disorder

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#11
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Gobstoppers12
05/08/22 6:04:34 AM
#12:


My ex with BPD cheated on me several times, screamed at me like 40% of the time no matter how hard I tried to keep her happy, and broke up with me at least once a month.

It was the most disastrous relationship I've ever had, and it's not even close.

The weird thing is, if not for for abusive bullshit, she was very cool. Very sweet. Made me happy 60% of the time, but that 40% of the time she was in disaster mode, my life was essentially unlivable.

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BignutzisBack
05/08/22 6:06:27 AM
#13:


Gobstoppers12 posted...
The weird thing is, if not for for abusive bullshit, she was very cool. Very sweet.

This is really disturbing, as it mirrors exactly the experience I've had with someone who had borderline personality disorder, as well as my friends who dated girls with borderline personality disorder

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NeonOctopus
05/08/22 6:09:45 AM
#14:


Abandon ship on that one, mate

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FelineCyborg
05/08/22 6:18:03 AM
#15:


Why is nobody questioning the premise of this topic? He googled his date and found this out? something susp.

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AdrianBeterson
05/08/22 6:26:12 AM
#16:


Yeah how tf did you find out she has BPD?

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Unsuprised_Pika
05/08/22 6:28:15 AM
#17:


[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Looking it up quickly and sum it up broadly it sounds basically like being a yandere but as an actual mental disorder.

Mood swings, obsessive unstable relationships, paranoia, fear of abandonment, impulsiveness, periods of detachment from reality...

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spikethedevil
05/08/22 7:11:45 AM
#18:


So much ignorance ITT.

This topic is very much showing why people are scared to find help.

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rexcrk
05/08/22 7:17:54 AM
#19:


Gobstoppers12 posted...
My ex with BPD cheated on me several times, screamed at me like 40% of the time no matter how hard I tried to keep her happy, and broke up with me at least once a month.

It was the most disastrous relationship I've ever had, and it's not even close.

The weird thing is, if not for for abusive bullshit, she was very cool. Very sweet. Made me happy 60% of the time, but that 40% of the time she was in disaster mode, my life was essentially unlivable.


I dont know how on earth you would willingly put yourself through that shit.


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Back_Stabbath
05/08/22 7:19:02 AM
#20:


shes gonna bite your dick off

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Nintendo_Porn
05/08/22 7:24:16 AM
#21:


People are so much more than a piece of paper - you taking a risk no matter who you date, and remember everyone has baggage.

You'll miss out on wonderful things/people in life worrying about shit like that.

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#22
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bulletproofvita
05/08/22 7:26:44 AM
#23:


rexcrk posted...
I dont know how on earth you would willingly put yourself through that shit.
Sometimes you get stuck

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Shablagoo
05/08/22 7:32:31 AM
#24:


shit topic

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Perfectinsanity
05/08/22 7:34:05 AM
#25:


Dont date her

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Jiek_Fafn
05/08/22 7:45:08 AM
#26:


Depends on the severity of the symptoms tbh. There are plenty of folks with mild symptoms that in the end just end up being very clingy. If that doesn't bother you, then go for it. CE likes to judge mental issues by the extreme end though.

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--Zero-
05/08/22 8:57:12 AM
#27:


Dont do it.

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RenescoStCewl
05/08/22 8:59:50 AM
#28:


You don't owe anyone a date. If you're not comfortable with it then cancel.

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--Zero-
05/08/22 9:01:23 AM
#29:


Gobstoppers12 posted...
My ex with BPD cheated on me several times, screamed at me like 40% of the time no matter how hard I tried to keep her happy, and broke up with me at least once a month.

It was the most disastrous relationship I've ever had, and it's not even close.

The weird thing is, if not for for abusive bullshit, she was very cool. Very sweet. Made me happy 60% of the time, but that 40% of the time she was in disaster mode, my life was essentially unlivable.


Had an ex that was very similar. Seemed like every other month shed get pissed at me and id come home from work to her having her things packed ready to leave me. She left me for her previous ex and got pregnant with him so I dodged a bullet when she finally let me free. Women with BPD in my experience is like getting on a roller coaster without the seatbelt tightened and it was easy to get stuck.

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SideburnStalker17
05/08/22 9:16:09 AM
#30:


spikethedevil posted...
So much ignorance ITT.

This topic is very much showing why people are scared to find help.

Or selfishly not putting themselves in a shit situation!

The world needs good people to pick up the sword and fight those battles. Not me! If I'm forced to do so, definitely - something changes in my wife, my kids, family, etc. I'm all in. But knowing info like that going in? I'll pass and sleep just fine with everyone calling me a bad person for thinking like that!
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averagejoel
05/08/22 9:31:13 AM
#31:


everyone has issues. people are a lot more than their diagnosis though. you don't really know what she's like until you meet her. meet up with her and see what happens.

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DanHaren2022
05/08/22 9:32:01 AM
#32:


I would abort, personally.
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AloneIBreak
05/08/22 9:36:05 AM
#33:


Kaiganeer posted...
cancel the date but be honest about the reason
This. Message her and tell her how you were Googling her and came upon her mental illness, then you made a topic on CE and let other people decide how you should handle it. Im sure shell understand.

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Mearcstapa
05/08/22 9:43:07 AM
#34:


Why is it called "borderline" personality disorder anyway?

borderline of what?

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rexcrk
05/08/22 9:43:40 AM
#35:


bulletproofvita posted...
Sometimes you get stuck


Idk about that. Id be peacing out of there if I was dealing with someone like that.


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Vicious_Dios
05/08/22 9:45:33 AM
#36:


Nah, this ain't it.

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DezDroppedFreak
05/08/22 9:47:50 AM
#37:


Still want to know how tf googling someone turned up their mental health history

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spikethedevil
05/08/22 9:47:59 AM
#38:


Mental health still has such a long way to go with BS shown ITT.

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#39
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LordRazziel
05/08/22 9:49:23 AM
#40:


DezDroppedFreak posted...
Still want to know how tf googling someone turned up their mental health history


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spikethedevil
05/08/22 10:14:29 AM
#41:


DezDroppedFreak posted...
Still want to know how tf googling someone turned up their mental health history

Good point.

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BigMeatyClaws
05/08/22 10:21:03 AM
#43:


Sorry everyone. I fell asleep. Do people really find it strange to google who youre supposed to go out with? Thats odd. And I found out about the bpd because googling her name lead to her Instagram where she has a few posts about her diagnosed BPD. It didnt require any detective work

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Garlands_Soul
05/08/22 10:21:56 AM
#44:


I've been dating someone with BPD for 6 months now and honestly haven't really had many issues. It's a fun time and I love them

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jumi
05/08/22 10:25:08 AM
#45:


spikethedevil posted...
So much ignorance ITT.

This topic is very much showing why people are scared to find help.

So you'd be okay dating, say, an abuser or sociopath or nymphomaniac because it's not their fault or they can change?

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yemmy
05/08/22 10:25:13 AM
#46:


I've had relationships with 3 women in which had some serious personality disorders, only one of them was diagnosed with BPD (or at least shared the diagnosis of it), but all 3 did a lot of the same things, and all 3 had some sort of childhood abuse or severe neglect.

People outside of these relationships make fun of the "I can fix her" thing, but when you are young and immature and the sex is so good, sometimes you actually think that, but no it is not happening.

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Phenomenal_one
05/08/22 10:41:02 AM
#47:


DezDroppedFreak posted...
Still want to know how tf googling someone turned up their mental health history

Access main program. Access main security. Access main program grid.

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AmericaTheBrave
05/08/22 10:42:46 AM
#48:


Abandon ship

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Jerry_Hellyeah
05/08/22 10:42:55 AM
#49:


Imagine if she found out you post on GameFAQs.

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Unsugarized_Foo
05/08/22 10:43:43 AM
#50:


Weird to Google someone and see they have BPD

But BPD is on a slider from my experience. You can have someone who's crazy, shits on beds, and mean as a snake and have someone who's in treatment and can manage.

You'll never see how far the rabbit hole goes unless you observe their closest relationships or become one

I'd say go for it if you're a stable person yourself. Run away if you're a codependent


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spikethedevil
05/08/22 10:46:07 AM
#51:


jumi posted...
So you'd be okay dating, say, an abuser or sociopath or nymphomaniac because it's not their fault or they can change?

Yes these things are definitely the same and not a false equivalence.

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