LogFAQs > #964881346

rexcrk posted...

I dont know how on earth you would willingly put yourself through that shit.

I was 18 when I met her, and I was one of those kissless types who was pretty fucking depressed. I thought I was going to be alone forever, so when I met a girl who showed genuine interest in me, I was all-in. I was absolutely 100% committed to making it work. No matter what she hit me with, I tried to reconcile things. I forgave her for cheating, forgave her for calling me worthless, forgave her for belittling me in front of friends...I would have done anything for her, for a long time. Two years, that lasted.

Eventually, she got me to a breaking point. It took a long time. Lots of arguments, lots of promises, lots of threats of self-harm (even though she never actually did it), and just....so much frustration, hopelessness, and a powerful drain from my self-worth.

I realized one day, after she had broken up with me on some nonsense, that my time was worth more than to spend it on being miserable. Every time I got back together with her, I was guaranteeing another week or two of misery, and then it would all happen again. Soooo...I told her no. I said that I still love her, but that we didn't work out as a couple.

It was easier than I thought. It kind of felt like I had been hauling a two hundred pound anvil by a rope wrapped around my neck. And it took me two years to realize I could just...cut the rope, and suddenly the pressure would be gone.

I stayed friends with her for a while, we still talk occasionally even after 14 years. She asked me what I thought about the new World of Warcraft expansion the day it was announced, in fact. She's still nice, and she still reaches out to me to chat, but holy shit was she a fucking nightmare to be in a relationship with. Good friend, but a truly terrible girlfriend.