LogFAQs > #961365450

And now, for the convincing part!!

The universe will cease to exist if I do not get that game. While it is true, I could buy Book of Demons myself and save the universe, the fact is that the act of doing so, might still endanger reality as we know it. The story is long, but I will try and give a brief version.

So, around two million years ago, the first humans evolved and started using tools. One of those humans (well more than one, but in this case one was important) was my very very distant ancestor.

Video games did not exist in this time period, neither did the internet. In fact (and I know this may be hard to believe), neither did......TVs!!! The first humans primarily entertained themselves by throwing poop. There was a scoring system at least, but as gaming went, this was pretty much as shitty as possible. Anyway this ancestor of mine, he was what today would be called a game addict, so basically covered in poop all the time, and therefore he was pretty anti-social (didn't get out much, and the lady ape-humans kinda avoided him). This meant he was one of those solitary poop players who just passed the time playing with shit.

In the process of doing this one time he encountered the first bug in the history of gaming (and reality) and saw into the distant, distant future. Sadly what he was a music video by the waitresses called "I know what boys like" and this proceeded to drive him insane.

Now, as mentioned above, my ancestor was not a hit with the ladies, so you might wonder....how did he become your ancestor then? Well, after going insane he stopped playing with poop and started going around, dancing and singing horrible songs from the future. Thing is, there was no dancing back then, no singing, and even horrible songs were freaking awesome since "Grunt, grunt, Eeeek, grunt grunt' was the previous top hit among humans.

He basically became the first celebrity, and did his best to live up to the crazy amount of sex celebrities generally have. That is how he became my ancestor, and it's also how eventually I ended up needing to have Book of Demons or the world and perhaps the universe will end.

But I said I would keep this brief, so I will skip a few steps along the way (all very interesting steps mind you, and with less poop involved as well), moving forward through the years his ancestors continued to run into bugs, they were called prophets, or witches, killed, burned, worshiped, eaten a few times, lots of things, but anyway eventually I was born and I also encountered a bug in the universe.

The bug I encountered was simple, it let me see the future like everyone before me, but it also let me see what would happen if a specific event was not completed in the future. Sadly I did not encounter this bug until AFTER I had gotten gamepass and played Book of Demons but stopped to try out other gamepass games.

So in this bug, I saw myself finishing the game Book of Demons. There was also a hot red headed girl giving me a blowjob at the time (this is very important for the universe btw, so I would please like volunteers for this position). If I complete the game, the earth will not devolve into utter chaos after being invaded by demons from the game (seems the game has a seriously bad virus that will only be defeated if I finish it). Therefore, it is imperative that I get this game and finish it as soon as possible (while getting a blow job as we don't want to take chances, that could have been vital).

I could buy the game myself mind you, and that is still a very distinct possibility but I think the universe is trying to say something by having this game, out of so many, available on your list. I think it is obvious that you are key to me obtaining the game. I'm still working on the hot red headed blow job portion, but I'm sure that will fall into place as well.

So, I request this game, of all the games on your list, in order to save the world, and perhaps the universe (not really certain if the demons can travel to other solar systems/galaxies etc...but I guess to us it wouldn't matter much). Please do your part and pass the word on to any cute/hot red headed girls that might want to help as well:)