LogFAQs > #961000386

I'm going to spoiler this post so that people who loved it don't have to be bogged down by my critiques, but I will simply say that, the more I'm sitting on it afterward, the less fondly I feel.

Prepare yourself for disappointment, and you'll never be disappointed. I prepared myself to think this movie was going to try to be too much and come out feeling pretty meh, and I ended up being right for for the wrong reasons.

To start with - they tricked me. The first half of this movie was excellent and I was starting to feel like the movie could really end highly in my rankings. Then Ned did magic and the Spideys showed up and it became schlock.

Utter schlock.

There's something to be said for taking drips of nostalgia and references, even heavy doses of it, and using that as a medium to bring an audience into emotional investment. There's also something to be said for losing track of any sort of depth or meaning and becoming a pastiche.

It just really felt like there was no purpose to the other spideys aside from making jokes and references and getting people excited off of nostalgia. We didn't need that. Any of that. At best, it gave Andrew Garfield a moment to save MJ and make up for his two movies. Cool. Whatever.

Curing the villains was unnecessary. So unnecessary. And Peter didn't need other spideys to get him past Aunt May's death or stop him from killing Goblin.

WE ALREADY HAD DOC OCK. We ALREADY HAD a sympathetic science nerd who understood the error of unchecked scientific pursuit there. Somebody who understood how passion can lead to so much danger. AND HE LOST HIS WIFE! HE KNEW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO LOSE SOMEONE.

There was a really amazing story being written here about how the villains fuck off and grab the spell and get some distance, and how the person to be there for Peter was Doc Ock. He still gets the same "it was worth it because you helped me" deal, where Doc Ock can return to his time and help Spidey stop him from destroying Manhattan just like he did in the actual movie.

Spidey didn't need other Spideys because he already had help in Doc Ock and Sandman, who had shown that he just wanted to go home. And this is a dumb gripe since it's me writing what I think should have happened, but it's so easy to have Sandman get convinced to turn on Spidey and Doc Ock through some dramatic irony of thinking if he goes back, he'll just die, when we know as an audience that he survives his film.

I mean every one of them is going to die except for Lizard and Sandman, right? The theme of the movie tried to be sacrifice for the sake of others, except, you know, the half of the movie that was 'what if we made the spiderman pointing meme into a movie'. Doc Ock should have been the one to teach that, knowing that he'd be sent back just to die to his own machine. And you can still have Goblin blow up the spell and Peter make that sacrifice in the end.

Instead we got corny fanservice from two Spidermen who added nothing but jokes to the movie. I almost vomited at "You're Amazing!"

Spidey has been my favorite hero for most of my life and I was beyond thrilled by both of his mcu movies, but this one really suffered by trying to be a worse The Force Awakens.

If they wanted to have more than one Spidey, then they missed out on a chance to have a Miles Morales, native to the mcu, get bit by a bug that crossed over from the multiverse. And throw that in a post-credits scene, I don't care.

I know a lot of this became me doing some dumb "here is what should have happened", but at the very least, I will leave off by saying it got derivative, corny, and lost its purpose just to hand it through heavy-handed telling.

Schlock.