LogFAQs > #949852802

Sometimes it is difficult to hold thoughts like this in without sharing them. Sometimes there's nobody to share it with, but I am glad you find that this is a place where you can let it out.

In 2015 I tried to kill myself. This was after 3-4 years struggling with undiagnosed depression (I was too afraid to seek help and didn't want to tell anyone due to stigma beliefs). I think the hardest part of that entire experience was that I had nobody to turn to and didn't know how to talk to anyone about what I was experiencing. My parents didn't think there was anything wrong with me and told me to snap out of it. Nobody really understood what I perceived I was going through and that's okay with me, because I was too afraid to share my experiences with anyone so I didn't expect anyone to come help.

I received counseling and was almost immediately diagnosed with MDD. I didn't tell the counselor I had suicidal ideations. By the sound of it based on what you said, it sounds like I may have dodged a bullet. I was placed on a heavy dose of antidepressants and decided to try new things and change my life around. It worked.

Not trying to tell you to take antidepressants. They don't work for everyone and can be difficult to get off of. I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience. I work in healthcare and there are so many people out there who abuse the system by claiming to be suicidal when they are not and I think that may have contributed to nurses and physicians projecting their frustrations onto real mental health patients that need actual help, like yourself. Not trying to defend them, but yeah, it's a thing that happens.

Does it get better? I can't answer that. I'm still here, but I still have serious bouts of depression. I have a lot on my plate as well since I have started a family of my own so it does happen quite a bit, but nowhere near as bad as back when I actually tried to off myself. I don't really think MDD ever goes away on its own, but there are ways to control it.

If you need any help or anyone to talk to I am here. I only mainly lurk on this board sometimes (spend more time on NGG and RPGs) but I saw the topic was buzzing on my favorites list and read your post.