1. TAR5 - Colin & Christie 2. TAR2 - Oswald & Danny 3. TAR1 - Kevin & Drew 4. TAR3 - Teri & Ian 5. TAR9 - BJ & Tyler 6. TAR7 - Rob & Amber 7. TAR6 - Gus & Hera 8. TAR10 - Dustin & Kandice 9. TAR8 - Paolo Family 10. TAR4 - Jon & Al
The best moment this entire season happens at the very end. Tyler & James just won and Phil says "How would you like to celebrate with your family?" It pans to all the eliminated teams looking shocked, Tyler & James are excited. Then Phil pulls out a fucking sponsored Sprint cell phone and lets them call home. Amazing.
Anyway, as expected, this season isn't that great. It commits two cardinal sins - it's boring, and most of the cast sucks. Or at least aren't very rootable. Even Dustin & Kandice I wouldn't say I love - though I did come around on them a bit near the end. Tyler & James were...fine. They're just so boring, but I didn't really mind them winning, especially over Rob & Kimberly. Rob is such an unbelievably whiny tw*t. I love that the end sort of came down to them getting into a cab without an EZ Pass. Lyn & Karlyn were very up and down, mostly down for me for the majority of the season. I really wanted to like the Cho Bros, but the whole six-pack thing was an abomination, and them actively sabotaging themselves was unbearable. I also do not understand the appeal of David & Mary, but I'll touch on that later. As far as the earlier eliminated teams go, they were mostly bad or mediocre, though I do kind of wish Duke & Lauren made it farther, I think they had the potential to be interesting.
I figured I'd to a little discussion of the All-Stars cast too before I start that up. At first glance, I think it's mostly alright. Bill & Joe, Kevin & Drew, Danny & Oswald, Teri & Ian, Charla & Mirna, Uchenna & Joyce, Rob & Amber and Dustin & Candice are all totally reasonable choices, it not outright good ones. Eric & Danielle is super weird for sure, but I think Eric himself is a fine choice too. If this was Eric & Jeremy I don't think anyway would have batted an eye at their inclusion. I don't know what casting decision went into that choice, if Jeremy wasn't available or what. John Vito & Jill and David & Mary are the baffling ones to me. Even David & Mary I guess I can kind of see why the show would want to try and shove them down our throats again, but on what planet are John Vito & Jill worthy of being on this season? I think if I was casting this season, assuming absolutely anyone asked would come back no questions asked, and keeping the gender balance, I would have gone with -
Kevin & Drew Tara & Wil Teri & Ian Colin & Christie Linda & Karen Charla & Mirna Uchenna & Joyce Rob & Amber BJ & Tyler Eric & Jeremy Dustin & Kandice
Uchenna & Joyce were the 11th team I added here, and I think it could have gone to a few teams - Kris & Jon maybe, Chip & Kim, Flo & Zach. I decided having another winning team there would be better and season 5 was already kind of stacked (for good reason). I don't think 4 and 8 necessarily need any representation, and 6 doesn't really either. Obviously some of these weren't viable for various reasons, so this is fantasy land. That being said, the cast we did get was actually fairly decent for the abortion the season ended up being.
