LogFAQs > #945865036

Arthur: What're you doing?

Muffy: Whoops. My hand must've slipped.

Arthur sits uneasily, looking out of the window. Muffy scoots closer.

Muffy: Arthur, you never call.

Arthur: Well, calling my ex-girlfriends isn't really at the top of my to-do list.

Muffy: Arthur, you've changed.

Arthur: Maybe that's why we broke up.

Muffy: No, we broke up because I got pregnant and you didn't want to commit.

Arthur: Let it go. It was years ago, and that kid's with a good foster family now.

Muffy: But I still love you!

Arthur: Oh, not this shit again.

Muffy: You were my first!

Arthur: Big deal. You weren't mine.

Muffy: Don't you love me?

Arthur: No, that's the point I've been trying to make for 3 fucking years!

Muffy: *eyes filling with tears* Don't you love me at all!?

Arthur: Are you deaf, bitch!? That's what I've been saying for 3 FUCKING YEARS! Jesus, get off my damn back!

Muffy: Well maybe if YOU'D done that I would've never gotten pregnant!

Arthur: IF YOU DON'T WANNA GET FUCKING PREGNANT THEN KEEP YOUR FUCKING LEGS CLOSED! IT'S NOT ROCKET SURGERY, YOU DUMB HO!

Muffy: Bailey, stop the car. Arthur's getting off here.

Arthur: You should be glad. This is the first time you've made me get off in 3 years.

A few minutes later, Arthur stands on the sidewalk as the limo pulls away.

Arthur: shit, I should've sucked it up so I could've at least gotten a ride out of her. Gotta find some other way...

***

Back at the restaurant, Mrs. Read is exposed and Francine is going at her.

Mrs. Read: Oh yeah. Do that whirlybird thing again...

The door to the bathroom creaks open and a voice calls out.

Employee: Excuse me? Are the two girls I saw go in still here? Just to let you know, the restaurant is closing in five minutes. Please hurry, everyone has to be off the premises by closing time.

Francine looks up at Mrs. Read. Mrs. Read mouths a word. Francine smiles.

The word she mouths is, "Threesome."

Employee: Hello? Are you two here?

Mrs. Read: Yes, we're here. But could you help me? I seem to have dropped my wedding ring around here and I can't find it.

Employee: Hm? Wedding ring? Where did you drop it?

The employee begins to walk toward the stall. Francine stands, slowly unlocks the stall door.

Mrs. Read: It was right outside. Near the sink.

The employee is confused but bends to look under the sink. In a flash, Francine pulls open the stall door and yanks the employee by his belt. She turns him around and pushes him to the floor as they begin to make out.

Employee: What the....mmm, oh yeah...jailbait for the win...

Mrs. Read comes up behind, fully nude now, and reaches under Francine towards the employee's crotch.

Employee: Whoa! Who else is down there!?

NOTE: At this point some explicit sexual activity occurs, so I will substitute in a metaphor. Use your imagination.

Mrs. Read gets to the bottom of the ice cream snowman and begins to lick it.

Mrs. Read: Ice cream is amazing!

Francine continues to eat at the head of the snowman. Mrs. Read takes a popsicle from the ice cream snowman's body and begins to suck it. Popsicles are a great treat and fun to eat in the summertime!

Mrs. Read: Mmm, delicious! I love popsicles! All different flavors, from chocolate to vanilla!

The ice cream snowman has a VERY happy look on his face. He can't speak. Of course, this is because he is a snowman.

NOTE: Return to scenario.

Mrs. Read and Francine stand up, leaving the employee frozen on the floor with a permanent smile. Mrs. Read puts her clothes back on and adjusts herself in the mirror.

Mrs. Read: I've picked up a few new moves, Francine. I haven't come like that in years.

Francine: No problem, Mrs. Read. It was my pleasure.

They both walk out of the bathroom, leaving the employee on the floor.