LogFAQs > #945865014

Back at the restaurant, it's getting close to closing time and Mrs. Read is flat-out tanked on wine. She slumps over the table with a drunken half-smile, top two buttons of her blouse unbuttoned. A hint of a white lace bra is visible.

Mrs. Read: I always tell Dave, "The Kama Sutra was written ages ago...in like 1987 or something...80s sex isn't like today sex...but he just doesn't like going in the back door...you know what I mean?

Francine: Yeah, yeah I do, Mrs. Read. And let me say...I'm a HUGE fan of the back door.

Mrs. Read throws her head back and laughs. Keeps her head back.

Mrs. Read: Wow...what a captivating ceiling...

Francine: Oh yeah, she's wasted. Time for the kill...

Mrs. Read brings her head back down and notices that her wineglass is empty. She turns it upside down, scrounging out the last few drops.

Francine: Mrs. Read, could you come to the bathroom with me?

Mrs. Read: What...why?

Francine: That's how we do it in school. We always take a buddy so we come back okay. You wouldn't want the legal troubles that come from me getting kidnapped here, would you? While you were supposed to be watching me?

Mrs. Read: No, guess not. Alright, lead the way. I've got to take a MONSTER piss after all that wine anyway...

Francine leads Mrs. Read to the women's bathroom. Enters one stall as Mrs. Read enters another. Francine reaches into her pocket and removes a small two-way radio.

Francine: *whispering* Buster, do you read me?

Buster: *over radio* Yeah, Francine, go ahead. What's the situation?

Francine: I've got her loaded and we're in the bathroom. I'm about to make my move. Make sure you keep Arthur away from this place.

Buster: No problem. I beat the shit out of him pretty bad. I'll be suprised if he can walk, let alone take down Mr. Ratburn and steal one of his ugly-ass tweed suits.

Francine: Nobody would steal those. I saw him do a solo on his "flute" in that suit once. And it's the only one he ever wears.

Buster: Ugh. Mental picture. Just get going, the restaurant closes in 30 minutes.

Francine pockets the radio and peers under the divider of the stall. Mrs. Read sits with her pants and panties around her ankles.

Mrs. Read: Oh, man, I was holding back a gallon or two easy...

Francine inches down and crawls under the stall divider into Mrs. Read's stall. Mrs. Read is sitting with her head back and eyes closed. She's since stopped urinating.

Francine: My God...it's okay. I am a professional. I can do this.

Francine goes for it. Mrs. Read's heads bolts up.

Mrs. Read: My God, Francine! What are you doing?!

Francine looks up.

Mrs. Read: Lower.

Francine shakes her head and resumes.

Mrs. Read: Oh yeah...eat it, Dave! An 8-year-old gives it better than you do!

***

Arthur runs down the street in Elwood City. The sun is starting to set.

Arthur: No use. The restaurant's across town. I won't make it just by running. I'm gonna need a ride...

Arthur spots a limousine coming down the road.

Arthur: That's gotta be Muffy. Nobody else with that much money lives in a town this shitty.

Arthur runs into the middle of the street. Motions for the limo to stop. Once it does he runs around to the side where a window rolls open. Muffy peers out and sees who it is.

Muffy: Ohh...hello, Arthur.

She blushes.

Arthur: Muffy, I need a ride. Do you think you could drop me off at that really expensive restaurant across town?

Muffy: Oh, you want to eat? I wouldn't mind eating with you, you know. So you don't have to eat alone. It's never as fun to eat alone.

Arthur: Cut the innuendo, my mom's in trouble. She's over there right now. Look, I'll explain it all later, but right now I really need a ride over there.

Muffy: Sure, Arthur. Anything for you. We'll talk on the way over, get in. *to her driver* Bailey, to the expensive restaurant across town. Hurry.

Arthur climbs in and shuts the door as the limo starts up again. Muffy scoots closer to Arthur on the seat. Puts her hand over Arthur's. Arthur pulls away.