LogFAQs > #945844000

It's a Trap
Everyone loves this line. Its appeal goes beyond the fact that Ackbar is shouting something obvious, it's also the way the camera zooms in on him as he swooshes in his chair and opens his mouth in a silly way. And then there's the line itself. Like most good memes, it's short and to the point. My favorite experience with this meme was when I went to a Starbucks to get something for my sister, and someone had drawn Ackbar on the window screaming IT'S A FRAP.

Order 66
This is a hard one to rank. Of course, it's silly that it's named Order 66, which is just an inherently silly number. That was a complete mistake. But this is like the only time in the PT where the execution is stronger than the premise. It's actually kind of sad when the music swells sadly and you see forehead guy being completely perplexed as he's betrayed, and Aayla Secura be shot in the back without a word. Like, it's stupid, but unlike basically everything else in RotS, it's capable of producing a slight emotion besides laughter and contempt.

Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker
I don't think anyone is satisfied with this movie. I guess I'll say this for Abrams, I don't think anyone could have actually made this movie good. He's partly responsible for the mess, but it's not completely his fault. Part of this movie is dedicated to walking back on everything TLJ did, another part is dedicated to introducing pointless new characters (Art Deco Helmet Lady and Horse Girl), and zero percent of the movie is dedicated to making sense. Is this is the most nonsensical, "don't think about it" Star Wars movie? I think it might be.

I can imagine that after TLJ, Abrams was like "who do I have be the villain?" I mean, honestly, I think the idea of a directionless empire collapsing in on itself without strong political leadership and threatening to engulf the galaxy in a pointless civil war, and our heroes having to stop that somehow, is an interesting concept, but Abrams apparently disagreed. But the return of Palpatine is comical. It's brushed over in one line that's so awful it became the ST's only proper meme ("Sigh... Somehow... Palpatine returned..."), and then there are other one-liners that exist to briefly fill in plot holes ("Dark alchemy, cloning, secrets only the Sith knew," "Let's use a Holdo Maneuver").

You could forgive all of that if the movie had really strong writing, but it's clear that Abrams just had zero idea of what to do with any character except Kylo Ren. Finn is floundering the entire movie for something to do. Remember that line when he's in quicksand, and he tells Rey that he always wanted to tell her something, and then the next scene just forgets about it? Everyone assumed that he was going to declare his love for her and the director just forgot to remove the line when the plotline was chopped. No! John Boyega revealed that Finn was going to say that he thought he was also Force-sensitive. Like, that's going to be your last words alive, bro?

It's even worse for Poe. Poe's contribution to this movie is being the general in charge of the Rebel forces because Carrie Fisher randomly died between movies (let's not even talk about her comically stitched-together scenes with Rey) and losing hope at the end before Lando arrives with reinforcements. Lando! Where the hell did they dredge Billie Dee Williams up from? Did they do it just because they stupidly killed all the other main characters? And what the hell is with the scene where he talks to the one black woman in the galaxy, who of course is secretly his daughter? Completely impossible to explain. This movie is such a mess. By the way, Daisy Ridley also revealed that they weren't sure what Rey's parentage was while filming the start of the movie.

This movie just rings so hollow. It's just such a going-through-the-motions affair. None of the scenes that are meant to be important actually mean anything. Like, why does Rey adopt Luke's name at the end and take over his uncle's farm? Ignoring all in-story logic about that, what is that supposed to mean, thematically? That she's following in Luke's footsteps as a guy who retires young and stops helping the galaxy? **** off with that, JJ Abrams.

I forgot to mention this in the TFA and TLJ write-ups, so I'll do it now. Modern humor does not fit in Star Wars. That scene where Poe asks Kylo "Who talks first?" does not fit in Star Wars. TLJ opens with a literal "Yo momma" joke, and that doubly doesn't fit in Star Wars. And TRoS has that "They fly now" scene. It's so, so unfitting.

To steal yet another line from RLM, this movie just felt like an obligation. Like we saw the previous movies, so we have to see this one, too. Emotionally, I thought I was completely over Star Wars and would never watch another SW thing ever again after this movie. I was wrong, but that's a story for another time.

DID YOU SEE THAT IT WAS A VERY CLEVER CALLBACK TO JJ ABRAMS.

Jar Jar's Ultimate Fate
Completely unrealistic, even children don't like Jar-Jar. In all seriousness, did Lucas put down a rule that no one is allowed to kill him?

Yoda (Song)
I'm not a Weird Al aficionado, but I think this is one of his weaker songs. He's mostly just chanting Yoda's name and occasionally very briefly mentioning something that happened in the movies. YouTube agrees with me, since this video has 6 million views and The Saga Begins has 36 million views.

Battle of Hoth
A great idea. ANH ends with a space battle, so ESB begins with a land battle. Now we get to see how the Empire conducts wars when on the ground, which is something we've never seen before. It's so easy to imagine someone getting lazy and just having like a million Stormtroopers attack with no artillery support, but instead we get the lovable AT-ATs, Luke and Wedge get to do more fighter jet stuff, it's all great, but there's really not much to actually say about it. It is what it is.

The Client (Character)
A great minor character. When he was introduced, I was like "what the hell, is that Werner Herzog?" I was shocked when he died so ignobly, I thought he'd be more important, which is obviously the point.

Star Wars Holiday Special
I don't blame Lucas for trying to bury this one. It's incredibly strange that it exists at all. Like, making a Star Wars Christmas Special makes sense, I get it. But who said "let's make it a variety show with an overarching plot?" Who said "let's have it star Wookies, who we can't understand and will make constant horrible noises?" Then you have the skits themselves, which dear God, there's the one with the multi-armed person cooking, there are... It's just completely inexplicable. It's not even fun to watch! I've seen it, and trust me, this isn't a so-bad-it's-good thing. It's just ****ing unbearable.

The Saga Begins (Song)
I remember this song as a kid. Man, Weird Al has been active forever, huh? Anyway, I had a friend who had a copy of it on cassette tape (he might've gotten it illegal, I don't know), and he kept playing it all the time when I was over at his house. Watching this video is just a giant ****ing nostalgia bomb. I'd never noticed before how the drummer's drumsticks are little lightsabers. This is one of Weird Al's best outings, even though it's basically just reciting the plot of PM. I really like how we teleport to the Mos Eisley Cantina partway through, and they really go all-out with having a bunch of aliens and people in weird Star Wars hats in the background, when that must have been really expensive.

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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005