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Topic	Anagram Ranks Anything Star Wars-related with a Write-Up (spoilers)
Anagram 10/13/20 7:10:41 PM #123:	Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens I wonder how much of this was Disney, and how much was JJ Abrams. Who said the words "Let's just remake ANH?" Hell, I don't even want to talk about the Empire, Rebels, and Death Star (I refuse to use the new names they gave them in an attempt to pretend they're not just the Empire, Rebels, and Death Star). The obvious point of comparison here is Star Trek 09, which JJ Abrams also directed. The main difference is that Abrams decided to insert his infamous "mystery boxes" into this movie. I don't want to talk about how they played out yet, because I know someone is going to nominate The Last Jedi, but suffice it to say that it was a big mistake. Like, the very obvious progression from RotJ is to have the Republic have a new enemy, probably based on the Soviet Union, right? Where you have a less morally evil opponent, and Luke and the Jedi are like "mmmm we don't know if can interfere here," and Leia gets annoyed because she's trying to run a space empire and needs their help. Nope! More Space Nazis. I appreciate that JJ Abrams wanted to introduce a bunch of terrible new characters (we'll get to that later, when people inevitably nominate them), so I guess there was no other option except to soft reboot the franchise. And god, does anyone actually like the sequence where Poe fights the Death Star? Surely the answer is no, right? Look, to be clear: this movie is fine. It holds the extremely dubious title of fourth best numbered Star Wars movie (fifth best if you allow RotS as fourth as an ironic meme entry). But it has zero creativity or originality in it, and the lack of planning for later movies did more harm to the franchise than George Lucas ever could. Finn I was hoping no one would nominate Finn, because now I have to talk about John Boyega. Talking about Finn only, I think he's the most mismanaged character in the ST. The idea of "I'm a normal Gestapo guy, oh man I just realized we're the bad guys, now I feel like I have to defect and do good" is solid. Finn's arc in the first movie is... acceptable. It's not perfect, but he has the most interesting premise of the main cast. But it's clear that the later movies just had no idea what to do with him. He goes to a casino planet, he teams up with a girl who may????? be in love with him, he's dedicated to his "friend" Rey, but not really his "friend" Poe, it's all very nebulous. Finn stagnates as a character in a way that Rey and even Poe don't. The way you write Finn is obvious. He defects in the first movie, you have some older Rebel guy say I DON'T TRUST HIM RARGH THROW HIM IN PRISON, but the Rebels accept him anyway. In the second movie, Finn inspires some other Stormtroopers to join him, and they all go to the Rebels, and this saves the day somehow, and the Rebel guy goes "I was wrong about you, son," and clasps his shoulder. In the third movie, Finn gets promoted to general, and he leads the normal people in the Rebellion in the final battle while Rey does mystical Jedi stuff. Boom, completed character arc, great. No. The reason I didn't want to talk about Boyega is that he made a lot of damning claims against Disney about his character being mismanaged because he's black, and I think he's kind of right? To be clear, I think everyone was mismanaged, but Finn was the most mismanaged, and it's definitely due to his relationship with Rey and his ambiguous Force sensitivity. I think JJ Abrams maybe planned for Finn and Rey to be a couple, but that got sidelined, which just leaves their relationship incredibly bizarre. It doesn't matter for Rey because she has all of her mystical Jedi crap to focus on, but for Finn, like, tell me what Finn's motives are in the latter two movies. Tell me his relationship exactly to Rey. I have no idea. Did their relationship get sidelined because he was black? I don't know for sure, but Boyega clearly thinks so. As for Finn as a Jedi, it's very clear that JJ Abrams planned for Finn to be a Jedi. He uses a lightsaber in TFA, he senses Rey in TRoS, etc. But Rian Johnson completely ignores all of that in TLJ and has Finn go on an unrelated casino adventure, and then there was just no time left to explore this aspect of his character in the last movie because so little had been done with him in the previous movie that he effectively became just another pair of hands. Although, even then, this is still partly JJ Abrams' fault for introducing yet more characters to eat up screen time, including Lando's maybe???? daughter. I like Finn in concept, but the execution is so mismanaged that I have to give a bad grade, sorry. Sheev Palpatine Anyone who defends Disney trashing the EU so it could create its own EU should only be responded to with "Sheev," which is Palpatine's new canon first name. Palpatine is probably my favorite character in the franchise. He's just so **ing silly. Like, he's built up to for two movies and the first half of RotJ. Everyone s their pants at his mere mention. Luke is brought into this giant throne room, everything is black and stark and evil-looking, and the throne turns around to reveal a white figure wearing dark robes... And then Palpatine is just the silliest er of all time. He laughs, he claps his hands together, he looks like he's orgasming at the sheer thought of evil. He's the only character who comes out of the PT unscathed, just because he has the unfair advantage that he benefits from bad acting. Everyone else is running around being acted by terrible, directionless actors, but Palpatine is just giggling and having a great time spinning around and talking in a deep voice. When Yoda throws him over his desk and he smacks into his chair, that's like the best moment ever. He's a guy who's just become so one with the Dark Side of the Force that nothing matters except orgasming over evilness itself. Hell, even though Palpatine returning in TRoS is stupid, he's still the best part of the movie. Having a bunch of quasi-mystical robed guys in a giant evil room while Palpatine is hooked into this weird chair where he somehow survived being exploded twice (???) chanting and Palpatine narrates what he wants Rey to do... I think it's impossible to screw up Palpatine. He's just so silly. --- Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig. Started: July 6, 2005 <cite>Anagram posted [p:945820350] in Anagram Ra... [t:79033688]...</cite> <quote>Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens I wonder how much of this was Disney, and how much was JJ Abrams. Who said the words "Let's just remake ANH?" Hell, I don't even want to talk about the Empire, Rebels, and Death Star (I refuse to use the new names they gave them in an attempt to pretend they're not just the Empire, Rebels, and Death Star). The obvious point of comparison here is Star Trek 09, which JJ Abrams also directed. The main difference is that Abrams decided to insert his infamous "mystery boxes" into this movie. I don't want to talk about how they played out yet, because I know someone is going to nominate The Last Jedi, but suffice it to say that it was a big mistake. Like, the very obvious progression from RotJ is to have the Republic have a new enemy, probably based on the Soviet Union, right? Where you have a less morally evil opponent, and Luke and the Jedi are like "mmmm we don't know if can interfere here," and Leia gets annoyed because she's trying to run a space empire and needs their help. Nope! More Space Nazis. I appreciate that JJ Abrams wanted to introduce a bunch of terrible new characters (we'll get to that later, when people inevitably nominate them), so I guess there was no other option except to soft reboot the franchise. And god, does anyone actually like the sequence where Poe fights the Death Star? Surely the answer is no, right? Look, to be clear: this movie is fine. It holds the extremely dubious title of fourth best numbered Star Wars movie (fifth best if you allow RotS as fourth as an ironic meme entry). But it has zero creativity or originality in it, and the lack of planning for later movies did more harm to the franchise than George Lucas ever could. Finn I was hoping no one would nominate Finn, because now I have to talk about John Boyega. Talking about Finn only, I think he's the most mismanaged character in the ST. The idea of "I'm a normal Gestapo guy, oh man I just realized we're the bad guys, now I feel like I have to defect and do good" is solid. Finn's arc in the first movie is... acceptable. It's not perfect, but he has the most interesting premise of the main cast. But it's clear that the later movies just had no idea what to do with him. He goes to a casino planet, he teams up with a girl who may????? be in love with him, he's dedicated to his "friend" Rey, but not really his "friend" Poe, it's all very nebulous. Finn stagnates as a character in a way that Rey and even Poe don't. The way you write Finn is obvious. He defects in the first movie, you have some older Rebel guy say I DON'T TRUST HIM RARGH THROW HIM IN PRISON, but the Rebels accept him anyway. In the second movie, Finn inspires some other Stormtroopers to join him, and they all go to the Rebels, and this saves the day somehow, and the Rebel guy goes "I was wrong about you, son," and clasps his shoulder. In the third movie, Finn gets promoted to general, and he leads the normal people in the Rebellion in the final battle while Rey does mystical Jedi stuff. Boom, completed character arc, great. No. The reason I didn't want to talk about Boyega is that he made a lot of damning claims against Disney about his character being mismanaged because he's black, and I think he's kind of right? To be clear, I think everyone was mismanaged, but Finn was the most mismanaged, and it's definitely due to his relationship with Rey and his ambiguous Force sensitivity. I think JJ Abrams maybe planned for Finn and Rey to be a couple, but that got sidelined, which just leaves their relationship incredibly bizarre. It doesn't matter for Rey because she has all of her mystical Jedi crap to focus on, but for Finn, like, tell me what Finn's motives are in the latter two movies. Tell me his relationship exactly to Rey. I have no idea. Did their relationship get sidelined because he was black? I don't know for sure, but Boyega clearly thinks so. As for Finn as a Jedi, it's very clear that JJ Abrams planned for Finn to be a Jedi. He uses a lightsaber in TFA, he senses Rey in TRoS, etc. But Rian Johnson completely ignores all of that in TLJ and has Finn go on an unrelated casino adventure, and then there was just no time left to explore this aspect of his character in the last movie because so little had been done with him in the previous movie that he effectively became just another pair of hands. Although, even then, this is still partly JJ Abrams' fault for introducing yet more characters to eat up screen time, including Lando's maybe???? daughter. I like Finn in concept, but the execution is so mismanaged that I have to give a bad grade, sorry. Sheev Palpatine Anyone who defends Disney trashing the EU so it could create its own EU should only be responded to with "Sheev," which is Palpatine's new canon first name. Palpatine is probably my favorite character in the franchise. He's just so ing silly. Like, he's built up to for two movies and the first half of RotJ. Everyone s their pants at his mere mention. Luke is brought into this giant throne room, everything is black and stark and evil-looking, and the throne turns around to reveal a white figure wearing dark robes... And then Palpatine is just the silliest **er of all time. He laughs, he claps his hands together, he looks like he's orgasming at the sheer thought of evil. He's the only character who comes out of the PT unscathed, just because he has the unfair advantage that he benefits from bad acting. Everyone else is running around being acted by terrible, directionless actors, but Palpatine is just giggling and having a great time spinning around and talking in a deep voice. When Yoda throws him over his desk and he smacks into his chair, that's like the best moment ever. He's a guy who's just become so one with the Dark Side of the Force that nothing matters except orgasming over evilness itself. Hell, even though Palpatine returning in TRoS is stupid, he's still the best part of the movie. Having a bunch of quasi-mystical robed guys in a giant evil room while Palpatine is hooked into this weird chair where he somehow survived being exploded twice (???) chanting and Palpatine narrates what he wants Rey to do... I think it's impossible to screw up Palpatine. He's just so silly. --- Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig. Started: July 6, 2005</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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