LogFAQs > #945808436

Reylo
When TFA came out, I think everyone instantly knew where this was heading. Rey would be tempted to the Dark Side and Kylo would redeem himself, and there'd be some kind of romance between them. I never really doubted that this was where JJ Abrams was going. And this... kind of happens. How Disney ruined all of its characters is a story for another day, but Kylo Ren's redemption arc and that weird Force connection he has with Rey are the only things that kind of sort of maybe work, if you squint.

I actually kind of like the way TLJ presents Kylo and Rey seeing into each other's minds, and I can buy that Rey likes bad boys. Like, sure, why not? I'm not in love with Reylo, but I have no real issue with it besides it being mishandled like everything else.

If you're wondering what I think of Finnlo, I think that would have made an equal amount of sense, but it would have lacked the dangerous romance angle of Reylo. Which itself wasn't played up very well. There should have been a scene of Rey being drawn to Kylo against her better judgment and bad things happening as a result, etc.

Palpatine Fornite Event
Possibly the most inexplicable decision in all of Star Wars. Putting Palpatine's canon return in Fortnite is the absolute most confusing, nonsensical thing I've ever heard of. Bringing Palpatine back at all is obviously bad, and not putting it in the movie is even worse, but I'd just assumed it would be in a comic book or something. Nope! This is like if DC killed Superman, then brought him back in a crossover commercial for Dorito's.

Sand (Lifeform)
I don't hate the idea of carnivorous microbes that imitate sand, sure. I'm sure there are a million biological reasons why it wouldn't work, though.

Sand (Geology)
Although Anakin is right in that sand is coarse and rough and does get everywhere, he's wrong in that it's not irritating if you just take a shower after going to the beach.

Darth Vader
Is Darth Vader the villain of fiction? Like, besides Satan, is there a more famous fictional villain? I struggle to think of one, at least in Western culture.

Vader is actually not that interesting in ANH. He's basically just the Empire's lead enforcer, and he's always angry. Yeah, he killed Luke's father, but Luke isn't particularly broken up about it. He has only two hints of depth. The first is during the Death Star boardroom meeting, where everyone else is concerned about Rebels and physical matters, and Vader is just like "lol dudes nothing matters except the Force." The second is when he confronts Obi-Wan, and is like "Hey bro, we have a lot of unstated backstory together, isn't this cool? The audience can just sort of infer our emotions, and this would certainly be ruined if the story was told explicitly in a prequel."

Vader's actual depth comes in ESB and RotJ. To quote RLM again, the first time we see Vader in a position of vulnerability is when we see the back of his head as the machine treats him for his wounds in ESB. Vader seems to be doing the same shtick throughout ESB that he did in ANH, but then twist, he's actually roiling with emotional turmoil as he fights his own son. All of his previous actions with Luke are now viewed under a different light, and he's not just a big angry guy anymore. How serious was he about overthrowing the Emperor and ruling together as father and son? I always thought he was being completely genuine with Luke. Like, I never once got the impression that Vader or Palpatine ever attempted to trick Luke. I love that one shot where Luke jumps down the abyss rather than join Vader, and Vader just looks down. Even though a helmet, you can feel Vader's disappointment. One of my favorite Star Wars moments is at the end of ESB. Vader has spent the whole movie killing underlines for failing him, and he ordered the Millennium Falcon's hyperdrive to be sabotaged. The Falcon jumps away, and all of Vader's minions are around him, clearly ****ing their pants. Vader just looks away from the window, looks back one more time, and leaves the room without a word. As he does so, he passes a guy who's looking at like an ipad or something? And the guy keeps his eyes on the ipad as Vader passes by, then looks up frightened as Vader leaves. That scene tells you everything.

Anyway, then we're in RotJ. Luke's like "hey dad, I can feel your conflict," and Vader's like "nuh-uh, let's have a swordfight to prove it," and sure enough, there's some conflict. There is a noticeable difference here between RotJ Vader and older Vader, though. He's less angry and threatening, and more resigned to his fate? It's fine, though. It adds depth to his character, it's fine.

Anyway, yes, Darth Vader. Pretty much the best?

C-3PO
The "bumbling sidekick" to Artoo's "secretly competent sidekick," Treepio is the most annoying character in the OT, which is to say that he's not bad at all and is still a lot of fun. Like, the purpose he serves is fine, there's almost nothing to even say about him. The idea that he was built by Anakin is, of course, extremely ****ing stupid. The idea that Uncle Ben doesn't recognize him is even more stupid. The ST has even less idea what to do with Threepio. JJ Abrams must have really thought that "Threepio wipes his memory to help his friends" was a lot more dramatic than it really was.

My actual favorite C-3PO moment is when he tells the story of the previous two movies to the Ewoks and does sound effects. It makes complete sense that he can do sound effects, so much so that I never even questioned it as a kid.

Disco Chandelier Porn
I take back what I said about the Palpatine Fortnite event, this is the most mindboggling thing in Star Wars. Like, it's not even just a video of a sexy woman, it's clearly porn, and he reacts like it's porn. It's seven minutes of a sexy woman wearing half of a chandelier, but not actually doing porn-related things. Like, I would understand this if it was an abstract art piece about exploring the space between conceptual eroticism and the reality of pornography, but it's in the context of a ****ing "wookies celebrate Christmas" video.


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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005