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Topic	Anagram Ranks Anything Star Wars-related with a Write-Up (spoilers)
Anagram 10/12/20 6:32:13 PM #85:	Luke Skywalker Who's the most important sci-fi protagonist of all time? It's got to be Luke or Kirk, right? I can't think of anyone else who compares, save maybe for Spock. But where Kirk is the archetypal Captain, Luke is the archetypal Hero. Everyone knows about Lucas writing Star Wars after reading Hero with a Thousand Faces, and Luke is sort of the ultimate example of that. He's a man designed to appeal to that Jungian archetype of hero, that Platonic ideal of heroism. If you'd never seen Star Wars before and saw an image of the cast, you would instantly know that this is the main character. Here's a weird comparison: King Arthur. If you've ever read the original medieval stuff about him (I have), King Arthur has this whole complicated backstory about being raised as a normal person but also being the son of a king because it was important that he have a Destiny and a Lineage but also be of the land. Luke is the exact same thing, except that his father is a villain instead of a king. Here's what I'm trying to say about Luke: he's so perfectly molded to be the hero that his actual personality hardly matters. You can say that about a lot of Star Wars character archetypes, but it goes double for Luke, particularly because Mark Hamill is the weakest main actor in the OT (sorry). You know probably everything you need to know about Luke with just two images: that shot of him looking at the double sunset where he's torn up inside from being held back by his uncle, and that shot of him locking blades with Vader on Bespin. And yeah, the ST, bleh. I don't even know what to say about how Luke's character progresses in it. Mark Hamill put it best, so let me just quote him. "I told Rian Johnson 'I just fundamentally disagree with virtually everything you decided about my character." I wonder if they would have killed Luke the way they did if they'd known Carrie Fisher was going to die between movies? Canto Bight I had to look up the name of the casino planet for this (the planet is actually named Cantonica, but all of the action takes place in the city of Canto Bight). I get the idea of a new vista, and in theory it's good. Where do jerkass neutral people getting rich hang out? Probably not a Las Vegas casino, but this is close enough to accurate. This plays into the broader theme in TLJ about people trying to stay neutral and no one coming to the Rebels' rescue at the end. But I just found no joy in this subplot. You know what, I accept that maybe this is just about me. Maybe Canto Bight is a perfectly okay place for a sci-fi plot, and I'm the one who just doesn't like casino locales for some reason. I can't reasonably hold that against the movie. Anakin Skywalker For purposes of this list, I'm going to count Anakin separately from Darth Vader. In theory, Anakin is the deepest and most complex character in the series. He's a guy with a Destiny, he's the literal Chosen One, but he's torn up inside between his duties to a sort of abstract, unfeeling organization and his very real ties to the physical world with Padme and his mother. He has admiration for Obi-Wan for being such a good Jedi, but also feels pain for not being equal to him. He wants to be a dutiful man, but the only way to save the people he cares about is to walk a path the Jedi just will not allow him to walk. In theory, Anakin should work as a character. But there are two problems with him. The first is the acting. Many people have said this before, but George Lucas has a talent for squeezing terrible performances out of good actors. Hayden Christiansen isn't a bad actor, but somehow he gives the worst performance ever here. The climax of RotS is nothing but memes due to his and Ewan McGregor's acting. The second problem is the dialogue. George Lucas just cannot write subtle dialogue to save his life, and where that worked in the OT, it absolutely does not work in the PT. Obi-Wan screaming YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE and I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND are the worst examples of this, but Anakin gets lines that are almost as bad. YOU TURNED HER AGAINST MEEEEEEEE, oh my god, come on. That scene would have worked better if there was no dialogue between Anakin and Obi-Wan at all, just have Obi-Wan tell him to stop choking Padme, and then they look at each other and know there has to be a swordfight. Poor Anakin. You should have been the greatest Fallen Hero in science-fiction. Headbonk Stormtrooper Everyone loves this mother**er. In the special editions, Lucas added a sound effect to the guy bumping his head into the door, and it's like the only good change he made. Force Lightning I always sort of viewed force lightning as just something the Force could do. Like, Palpatine is so one with the Force that he doesn't even need a lightsaber, he can just call on the Force to do wacky things like this. Instead, AotC establishes that it's a standard Dark Side power... Honestly, fine. Sure. I can buy that the Dark Side gives you power over destruction, and it's very visually spectacular and scary. Nothing the Sith ever did was as shocking as the first time Palpatine busted out lightning from his fingers. Robot Chicken Star Wars Parodies I've never seen these, and there appear to be a lot of them, so I can't easily comment on them. I may watch them later so I can, but for now, I'm skipping this one, sorry. ----------- Thunderous Applause Star Trek The Force Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope Death Star You're My Only Hope Yoda Han Solo Millennium Falcon Luke Skywalker R2-D2 Luke vs Vader Duel (Bespin) Mr. Plinkett Star Wars Reviews TIE Fighter A New Hope Poster Baby Yoda Star Wars Ep 1: Jedi Party Duel of the Fates The Force is Strong with This One Force Lightning Grand Moff Tarkin Jabba's Palace Sequence Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi Headbonk Stormtrooper Spaceballs Lego Star Wars Qui-Gon Jinn Jyn Erso Kyle Katarn Kettch Impressive, Most Impressive Ganner Rhysode Tag and Bink The Star Trek Wars Vua Rapuung Boba Fett Wedge Antilles Saw Gerrera Stay on Target Star Munchkin Titan Squadron Twilight of the Apprentice (Episode) Brain Invaders (Episode) Canto Bight Jaro Tapal Star Wars Trek I've Got a Bad Feeling About This Anakin Skywalker Kylo Ren's Lightsaber Star Wars, minus Episodes IV-VI Jacen Horn Corran Horn Kir Kanos Anagram Star Wars: Rogue One Savage Opress What a Piece of Junk Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Rose Tico The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise Bomberman Hero Rey's Yellow Lightsaber Darth Jar-Jar Theory Wookiepedia Tree Article r/prequelmemes Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones Arb Skynxnex A Pathway to Many Abilities Some Would Consider to be Unnatural Disney Buyout Ewoks (Cartoon) Midichlorians --- Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig. Started: July 6, 2005 <cite>Anagram posted [p:945780169] in Anagram Ra... [t:79033688]...</cite> <quote>Luke Skywalker Who's the most important sci-fi protagonist of all time? It's got to be Luke or Kirk, right? I can't think of anyone else who compares, save maybe for Spock. But where Kirk is the archetypal Captain, Luke is the archetypal Hero. Everyone knows about Lucas writing Star Wars after reading Hero with a Thousand Faces, and Luke is sort of the ultimate example of that. He's a man designed to appeal to that Jungian archetype of hero, that Platonic ideal of heroism. If you'd never seen Star Wars before and saw an image of the cast, you would instantly know that this is the main character. Here's a weird comparison: King Arthur. If you've ever read the original medieval stuff about him (I have), King Arthur has this whole complicated backstory about being raised as a normal person but also being the son of a king because it was important that he have a Destiny and a Lineage but also be of the land. Luke is the exact same thing, except that his father is a villain instead of a king. Here's what I'm trying to say about Luke: he's so perfectly molded to be the hero that his actual personality hardly matters. You can say that about a lot of Star Wars character archetypes, but it goes double for Luke, particularly because Mark Hamill is the weakest main actor in the OT (sorry). You know probably everything you need to know about Luke with just two images: that shot of him looking at the double sunset where he's torn up inside from being held back by his uncle, and that shot of him locking blades with Vader on Bespin. And yeah, the ST, bleh. I don't even know what to say about how Luke's character progresses in it. Mark Hamill put it best, so let me just quote him. "I told Rian Johnson 'I just fundamentally disagree with virtually everything you decided about my character." I wonder if they would have killed Luke the way they did if they'd known Carrie Fisher was going to die between movies? Canto Bight I had to look up the name of the casino planet for this (the planet is actually named Cantonica, but all of the action takes place in the city of Canto Bight). I get the idea of a new vista, and in theory it's good. Where do jerkass neutral people getting rich hang out? Probably not a Las Vegas casino, but this is close enough to accurate. This plays into the broader theme in TLJ about people trying to stay neutral and no one coming to the Rebels' rescue at the end. But I just found no joy in this subplot. You know what, I accept that maybe this is just about me. Maybe Canto Bight is a perfectly okay place for a sci-fi plot, and I'm the one who just doesn't like casino locales for some reason. I can't reasonably hold that against the movie. Anakin Skywalker For purposes of this list, I'm going to count Anakin separately from Darth Vader. In theory, Anakin is the deepest and most complex character in the series. He's a guy with a Destiny, he's the literal Chosen One, but he's torn up inside between his duties to a sort of abstract, unfeeling organization and his very real ties to the physical world with Padme and his mother. He has admiration for Obi-Wan for being such a good Jedi, but also feels pain for not being equal to him. He wants to be a dutiful man, but the only way to save the people he cares about is to walk a path the Jedi just will not allow him to walk. In theory, Anakin should work as a character. But there are two problems with him. The first is the acting. Many people have said this before, but George Lucas has a talent for squeezing terrible performances out of good actors. Hayden Christiansen isn't a bad actor, but somehow he gives the worst performance ever here. The climax of RotS is nothing but memes due to his and Ewan McGregor's acting. The second problem is the dialogue. George Lucas just cannot write subtle dialogue to save his life, and where that worked in the OT, it absolutely does not work in the PT. Obi-Wan screaming YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE and I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND are the worst examples of this, but Anakin gets lines that are almost as bad. YOU TURNED HER AGAINST MEEEEEEEE, oh my god, come on. That scene would have worked better if there was no dialogue between Anakin and Obi-Wan at all, just have Obi-Wan tell him to stop choking Padme, and then they look at each other and know there has to be a swordfight. Poor Anakin. You should have been the greatest Fallen Hero in science-fiction. Headbonk Stormtrooper Everyone loves this mother**er. In the special editions, Lucas added a sound effect to the guy bumping his head into the door, and it's like the only good change he made. Force Lightning I always sort of viewed force lightning as just something the Force could do. Like, Palpatine is so one with the Force that he doesn't even need a lightsaber, he can just call on the Force to do wacky things like this. Instead, AotC establishes that it's a standard Dark Side power... Honestly, fine. Sure. I can buy that the Dark Side gives you power over destruction, and it's very visually spectacular and scary. Nothing the Sith ever did was as shocking as the first time Palpatine busted out lightning from his fingers. Robot Chicken Star Wars Parodies I've never seen these, and there appear to be a lot of them, so I can't easily comment on them. I may watch them later so I can, but for now, I'm skipping this one, sorry. ----------- Thunderous Applause Star Trek The Force Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope Death Star You're My Only Hope Yoda Han Solo Millennium Falcon Luke Skywalker R2-D2 Luke vs Vader Duel (Bespin) Mr. Plinkett Star Wars Reviews TIE Fighter A New Hope Poster Baby Yoda Star Wars Ep 1: Jedi Party Duel of the Fates The Force is Strong with This One Force Lightning Grand Moff Tarkin Jabba's Palace Sequence Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi Headbonk Stormtrooper Spaceballs Lego Star Wars Qui-Gon Jinn Jyn Erso Kyle Katarn Kettch Impressive, Most Impressive Ganner Rhysode Tag and Bink The Star Trek Wars Vua Rapuung Boba Fett Wedge Antilles Saw Gerrera Stay on Target Star Munchkin Titan Squadron Twilight of the Apprentice (Episode) Brain Invaders (Episode) Canto Bight Jaro Tapal Star Wars Trek I've Got a Bad Feeling About This Anakin Skywalker Kylo Ren's Lightsaber Star Wars, minus Episodes IV-VI Jacen Horn Corran Horn Kir Kanos Anagram Star Wars: Rogue One Savage Opress What a Piece of Junk Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace Rose Tico The Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise Bomberman Hero Rey's Yellow Lightsaber Darth Jar-Jar Theory Wookiepedia Tree Article r/prequelmemes Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones Arb Skynxnex A Pathway to Many Abilities Some Would Consider to be Unnatural Disney Buyout Ewoks (Cartoon) Midichlorians --- Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig. Started: July 6, 2005</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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