LogFAQs > #945749440

Disney Buyout
I have a whole rant saved up in my head to talk about the differences between Disney Wars and Lucas Wars, and I'm not sure if this is the right time to drop it. I think I won't.

When Disney bought Star Wars, I think everyone rolled their eyes. "Oh boy," thought people. "Disney will turn Star Wars into a completely sterilized version of itself in its endless quest to make more money." And that didn't exactly happen, but it kind of happened. But man, when I saw that one photo of George Lucas standing next to Mickey Mouse in a Jedi robe, and Lucas' eyes just look completely soulless, I was like "Well, I was already over Star Wars, but I still didn't expect this."

I understand dropping the EU, that's fine, that's good, even. But Disney simply replaced it with an equally bad, possibly even worse, version of the EU. Disney just rebooted ANH with TFA (even TFA's fans agree that it's just a reboot), and then epically mismanaged the series. Boy oh boy, do I have things to say about the sequels.

I think the biggest error here is the idea that we needed one Star Wars movie per year. It's like... no. There's a limit to how much Star Wars the human body can take, doctors recommend no more than a few milligrams per day. Then there are the "in-between" movies like Rogue One and Solo, which, instead of expanding on the universe, just expand on details from the original movies no one cares about. No one cares about how the Death Star plans were stolen, all we needed to know is that they were. Except for the Mandalorian, every Star Wars-related action Disney has taken has displayed a complete lack of imagination, which is curious because of how well the MCU was handled -- and I say that as someone with no particular love of the MCU or superheroes in general. Even the things they didn't make, like the Obi-Wan prequel TV show, still displayed an epic lack of imagination.

I think the best thing about the Disney buyout, besides the Mandalorian which yes is wonderful and great and cured cancer, is Lucas saying that he sold his franchise to "white slavers." Lucas is an insane person, but I appreciate his insanity sometimes.

Again, I have more to say on this topic, but I'm saving it for a more specific Disney vs Lucas thing.

Savage Opress
If there's ever a question I didn't ask, it's "did Darth Maul have a brother?" I always disliked the idea of bringing Maul back to life, but I'll admit that it was done as well as it really could have been done. I don't know, I don't hate this character, but I don't really like him, either.

Star Wars: Rogue One
Without looking it up, the only Rogue One characters I can name are Jyn Erso (whose name I thought was "Gin Urso") and Cassian Andor, and the latter is only because of the rumored TV series. Sure, I remember Asian Man, Black Robot, and Gatling Gun Guy, but don't even pretend you can name those characters without looking it up. Seriously, though, name Asian Man's name. God, even in a Galaxy Far, Far Away, the two Asian leads are still martial arts masters and computer nerds.

It's really hard to take this movie as its own thing independent of the rest of Star Wars because it's constantly shoving old Star Wars stuff in your face. Remember the guy whose arm Obi-Wan cuts off in ANH? He's here now, somehow, I don't know. Remember Leia's adoptive father? He's here, too! Do you remember Artoooooooooooo

Look, I like the idea of a giant epic battle set on a tropical beach. This is a vista we haven't seen before, and it's a good contrast where the beauty of the beach getting destroyed by the nascent Death Star. This is a strong thematic contrast, good work there. I like the Imperial guy in the white outfit being a complete ninny who's totally out of his depth. I like the idea of showing a darker side to the Rebellion, people who are desperate and willing to take morally black actions for the greater good. The Vietnam War stuff where the Rebels are on the ground is good. I don't hate Cassian, who grapples with the idea of killing Jyn's father before it's taken out of his hands. And I'll admit I was surprised when everyone just ****ing died. There are good things in this movie. Maybe I shouldn't have called the movie complete trash, it has redeeming elements.

But I take serious umbrage with the idea that the Death Star's flaw was put into it on purpose by a scientist. That's not only stupid, it ruins everything. The point of the Death Star as a concept is that the Empire is so powerful that it can't comprehend its own weaknesses. The point is that the Empire, embodied in the movie by Tarkin, has grown so powerful that the idea of a weakness is impossible, to the point that even after being warned Tarkin still gets himself killed. The point is that the tiny, weak Rebellion can still fight because the Empire is just too full of itself. Everything about the Empire is like this -- remember the AT-ATs, the seemingly invincible monster walkers on Hoth? Defeated by an X-wing with a cable swung around their knees. Remember Palpatine? Defeated because he creates a complicated plan that assumes normal people (Han and Leia) can't overcome his minions. Remember Darth Vader's plan to imprison the heroes in ESB? Defeated because he didn't think Lando could betray him. Say what you want about Ewoks, but at least they play into the theme of the Empire being undone by its own hubris. Having the Death Star's exhaust port be an intentional weakness inserted by its creator cheapens all of this. The Empire is no longer defeated by its hubris, it's defeated by sabotage. Like the Solo movie, expanding on the backstory in this way just displays a complete lack of understanding of what makes the Death Star interesting.

And yes, okay. If you don't care at all about any of that, that's fine. I respect that completely, and I'm glad you can enjoy this movie. But I focus a lot on thematic consistently and that sort of nebulous stuff, and from that perspective, RO is like a wrench dropped into a pair of gears.

So, fine. If you want some Star Wars-y action, this is a good movie. If you want thirty seconds of Darth Vader being a badass, this is a good movie. But a lot of it just rings hollow to me, like the movie wants to say something about the dark side of the Rebellion but has nothing to actually say. If this entire movie had been about a girl joining the Rebellion and finding out that it's actually kind of a dark organization that hides things from her, but is still better than the Empire, that would have been more interesting.

... You think that guy in ANH got fired? The one in the boardroom meeting who said that the Rebels are no threat. With this movie in mind, the Rebels launched a successful attack on a secret Imperial facility like three hours before he said that.

Jyn Erso
Jyn's a rebel (not a Rebel) who acts out and is out for herself, but learns she has a Destiny involving her father who works for the Empire, and she needs to settle things by working with a hot Hispanic guy. She's colder than any other main character, which is a nice change of pace, and she slowly learns to warm to her companions before they're all killed.

Of all the Disney protagonists, I would say Jyn is the best. She's definitely better than Rey, Poe, young Han Solo, and Emilia Clarke. Finn had so much potential, but was just completely wasted. So yeah, I'm giving it to Jyn. She's the strongest part of her movie. She should have been the main character of the ST.


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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005