LogFAQs > #945185084

dragon504 posted...

Always nice when you're feeling better and can relax and calm down. Hopefully you'll eventually find out what your body's malfunction is. Too bad House isn't real.

Yeah, the ER was pretty good news though. My chest had been hurting for a few days so I was worried there was some damage and I hadn't gotten electrolytes drawn in a while either so I was worried my potassium had dipped to dangerous levels. Knowing both are fine means I can take it a bit slower the next week or so and not be in such a rush to try new meds. Gives me some time to heal up from all the latest rough things.

Its actually so frustrating though. Things were finally looking up last month. I was feeling a bit better for once and managing to eat small amounts of other foods and get a little bit of sun and very light excersize. Additionally, I finally got a diagnosis of MCAS and I had some meds to try. I really felt like the end might be in sight. Then I developed a random mouth infection I think from a cut in my mouth from a hard piece of rice or a medicine tablet I split in half with a sharp corner and everything just went to shit.

The meds I had been taking that were minorly helping me now make me vomit and all the improvement is reversed and I lost more weight. I couldn't handle any of the 3 antibiotics I tried, one of them badly damaged my throat, started having chest pain and pressure again, started having more episodes of convulsions even without a food and it just feels like I was so close to escaping this 16 month hell but I narrowly missed my shot and now it's too late and I'm deteriorating too fast to try the new meds that may cure me. I'm also not sure if I actually finished off the infection entirely. The infection got mostly better and my fever is gone but it could come back with a vengeance and I don't know of any antibiotics I can actually handle if it does.

Theres also an operation that could help me a lot but I'm too weak for it to be safe. Sometimes it feels as if everything is designed to make me as close to having a chance of getting better as possible while always keeping it just out of reach. If literally one of like 50 things got better, it'd snowball and I'd probably end up either fine or at least much much better. Like if I could find one food with protein I could eat or one MCAS med that works, or if I could be strong enough for the operation, or if I could handle a larger multivitamin, or if I could handle exercise, or if I could handle anime or video games or reading. I'm just kept in this tiny bubble where everything I want is so close but I can't quite reach it.

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I'm ninja
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