LogFAQs > #943498143

ChaosAzeroth posted...

Many people have really really s***ty feelings from time to time, and don't say or do something stupid because of them. They work through them, they examine them. They come to a different conclusion once they can work through them.

This is probably the most important thing to take away from this. When people treat certain feelings as being invalid or otherwise unworthy of respect, it's because those feelings are harmful, unproductive, and/or poorly substantiated (or at least they believe them to be). That doesn't mean you're not allowed to have them, but it does mean you need to work through them and understand why you feel that way and what that means for how you move forward, rather than simply acting according to how you feel. This is a process that can and should involve discussing your feelings with those around you, especially those that stand to be directly affected by them (discussion which may well end up convincing the people that called your feelings invalid in the first place that they have more validity than they realized).

Basically, when people treat your feelings as being less valid, try to understand why. Sometimes, it's because they really are less valid and you need to stop expecting the people around you to accommodate them. Sometimes, it's because those people don't actually understand how you feel, and you can fix the problem with open communication. Sometimes, it's just because that person is a douche and you're better off without them. It's something you've got to figure out on a case-by-case basis.