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| Topic | CAUTION: I may not wear pants 249? Drinking Topic |
| CanuckCowboy 07/09/20 8:42:37 PM #59: | JimCarrysToe posted... I also just have this mental block that completely disallows me to go outside for any reason unless it's to take out trash or my mom tells me to. The thought of my mom asking me where I'm going and having to explain that I'm looking for a job or even just going for a walk makes me physically sick. Shes not abusive, shes only really yelled at me once and spanked me 2 or 3 times as a kid so idk why I'm so afraid. But I just can't do anything. Tbh i am 38 now and still have a weird thing about the power dynamic between my dad and me. I was a little shit and did all kindsa bad stuff as a teenager but i was also so worried hed find out and it wasnt really cause i was worried about being punished. Partly but mostly... well whatever it is that still makes me feel like i only wanna impress him. Not that hes likely to ever say it if i do make him proud. Back when i was super into bjj and boxing i always thought he thought it was stupid and pointless. Then like a year ago after id stepped back to the odd sparring session with friends who fight and gave up on tourneys he told me how proud he was. Like wtf dude that woulda been cool to hear back then. --- "Goddamn em all... i was told we'd cruise the seas for american gold" ~ stan rogers https://files.catbox.moe/gqwlkg.jpeg ~ by JimCarrysToe. Be amaze. ... Copied to Clipboard! |
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