LogFAQs > #932973383

He found me. Last night I was startled awake by loud banging at my front door. I pulled my covers closer to my chin, hoping he would just go away.

I heard the door frame crack as he barreled through the door. I quickly sprang up and attempted to move my dresser in front of my bedroom door to barricade myself inside. I was too late. @KillerKhan420 threw open the door, grabbed me by the waist and threw me on the bed. His eyes were as red as a dogs bunger when hes making a smelly two. Loose grains of cocaine were falling from his nostrils like the seasons first snow flurry.

What are you going to do to me? I asked him as he undid his belt.
Im going to show you the true meaning of heat, @KillerKhan420 replied, fully removing his pants to reveal his bare penis and his charred, homunculus coin purse.

He poured a line of white powder onto my nightstand and whispered, Snort it up, hot yum.
More cocaine? I wondered aloud.
No, he answered. This is pure capsaicin. I dont want to hear you complaining about jalapeos anymore.

In one smooth motion his bare penis snorted up the capsaicin with the efficiency of a 1990s stock broker. His bare penis left a line of sweat across my nightstand. His once small, burned testicles began to swell in size. The char fell off his skin like someone scrubbed a grill.

@KillerKhan420 ran out of my room and returned with my rolling pin. Bite down, he instructed. His scrotum was now four times the size it had originally been and was releasing steam. It was glowing white hot like tempered steel waiting to be struck and molded by the blacksmiths hammer. I bit down on the rolling pin as I was told.

He pressed his molten ballbag onto my lower back. I could feel my teeth dig into the wood as I grunted in agony. My skin sizzled and melted beneath his fury. I had been branded. I looked at his bare penis, which was receding meekly into his torso as if it were apologizing for its owners actions.

@KillerKhan420 rose to his feet. Now you know, he whispered before heading to my bathroom and cooling his roasted chestnuts under a stream of cold water. And then he was gone.

I was never able to get back to sleep. The pain in my lower back was immeasurable. Although Im incredibly tired and had severe burns inflicted on my person, I will thank Jesus Christ every single day that @KillerKhan420 broke into my home and assaulted me. If he hadnt, I would have never been branded and known his perspective on the true meaning of heat. God is good.


---

You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.