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I couldn't come up with a good mashup idea so we're going straight into

Show 2-3: Exile

-@davidponte kicks us off, welcoming Elend Venture as his first of two guests. They have a nice little chat about the events of Mistborn, but they are interrupted by @TheSultanOfSlam , david's other guest for the evening. Sultan doesn't see why david is wasting his time on this little twiggy man- Sultan could easily break his back and make him humble! And Sultan already beat david for this Hardcore title, so really they can both get out of his ring and go to the hell! Elend cuts Sultan off- he's not about to be lectured by somebody who governs a small territory that nobody even is sure exists, and who can't even string together a proper sentence! Sultan might be surprised by Elend in a fight too, so he'd better focus on his defense against the Rock before he finds himself in a very hard place.

-Mariel Gullwhacker knows a thing or two about being underestimated. She is little, but she's a fierce warrior....and @eaedwards6400 has that same warrior's spirit. He's gonna prove himself tonight!

-GRUDGE MATCH: Ric Flair v. eaedwards6400
Eaed got a big win last week, but can he prove it wasn't a fluke by taking out his rival here? Maybe not, as he falls for an eye poke immediately, followed immediately by a low blow. And a hair pull. The ref finally wakes up, and Eaed tries an ill-advised springboard crossbody, landing a little off but knocking down Flair anyway. Flair rolls through and gets a Sharpshooter in for a second or two. The ref misses Eaed's hand on the ropes, so the Time Cops graciously point it out. Flair hits another low blow while the ref and Cops sort things out....and then slaps on the Figure Four! Eaed taps!
WINNER: Flair

-The lights go out! When they come on, Eaed has LOSER sharpied on his face.

-Cena is looking forward to taking down @XIII_rocks , in a box away from all his little minions!

-ROCKS IN A BOX: John Cena v. XIII_rocks
It's pretty much a cage match with a roof and some fairly big rocks in the corners. XIII bum rushes Cena while the ref is checking him over- the RNG today really likes testing for Cheat. Cena weathers the rain of blows okay, but gets chucked into the wall and takes that a bit worse. Cena wobbles over to the ropes, and hits a Springboard Stunner out of nowhere! Bit of a possum move there. XIII goes down, but comes up with a rock and blasts Cena with it so hard that the rock goes flying through the cage wall. Cena tries to possum again, but is too out of it- he tries a cheeky STF when XIII tries to pick him up, but can't get it locked in. XIII stands up out of it, and falls backwards on a pointy rock, with Cena still on his back! Cena is hurt pretty dang bad, but collects himself enough to whip XIII into the cage wall. Cena's too hurt to follow up, though, and gets the dreaded CLOSED FIST from XIII. Cena smacks XIII with one of the rocks. @ScareChan wants to help out his buddy, but the ref shoes him away as he struggles to climb the cage. Instead, Cena just kicks XIII in the head a couple times. A woozy XIII pantses Cena, causing a momentary distraction and lots of happy fangirls. Cena just gives him a suplex before fixing himself and delivering a back kick for good measure. Cena's getting a bit too cocky, though, and XIII recovers to get him in a full nelson. Cena powers out, but XIII drops a rock on his foot. Cena kicks the rock at XIII"s head! XIII can't see him! DDT....and an AA! 1....2....3!
WINNER: Cena

-Cena cuts an unusually incoherent promo talking about the Revolutionary War, probably. And failing geology in high school.

-Bryan has lodged a formal protest with the commissioner's office, ensuring that there will be no funny business from Cueto! Probably.

-MASTERY OF TAYBLES EXILE CHALLENGE: Champion @Eddv v. Daniel Bryan
Caelus gets in Bryan's face from ringside. The ref admonishes him while Eddv hits Bryan from behind, and gets in a little choking action. Bryan rushes Eddv after the hold is released, scoring a surprise dropkick, followed by a spinning kick to his downed opponent. Eddv catches a crossbody, and slams Bryan down, but Bryan trips him. Caelus runs in, but Bryan just tosses him out, followed by the champion! Bryan tosses Eddv around ringside a bit, but Eddv has had enough, and roars to life! He charges...straight into a toe hold. And a bulldog as he tries to get up. Eddv clears his head and shoves Bryan into the apron, but Bryan retaliates with a sidewalk slam and a big boot. Bryan finally starts setting up a table....allowing Eddv time to find a chair and blast him from behind! Bryan wrests the chair away, but then whiffs the Knee Plus. Caelus has had a few too many SHOTS and is wandering around babbling at nobody related to the match, so Eddv just chucks Bryan into him. Eddv informs Bryan that even if he survives tonight, he's still gotta deal with the MLMF! Bryan hulks up....and spinebusters Eddv through the tayble!
Winner and NEW Master of Taybles: Bryan

-Eddv recovers slightly, and announces that taybles are stupid anyway. He'd beat Bryan in a REAL match! Bryan highly doubts that, and welcomes a challenge at any time. For now though, he's broken the Exile curse!

-The Rock has been called foolish. He's been called desperate. He's been called Cena's sidekick. But The Rock means business, and after tonight...they're going to call him the People's Hardcore Champion.

-HARDCORE EXILE CHALLENGE: Champion @TheSultanOfSlam v. The Rock
Rock keeps his distance to start off, whipping Sultan up into a frenzy. This seems smart until Sultan catches him and whips him into the announce table, then into the ring steps. Rock comes up with a chair, and uses it to shield himself from Sultan's charging attack, before just hitting him with it. Sultan doesn't much like that, and digs under the ring for a screwdriver to jab into Rock's forehead! Rock stumbles around a bit, but it's gonna take more than that. Rock tackles Sultan onto a wheelchair. Rock sets up to wheel Sultan somewhere....but Sultan stands up and stunners him onto the chair! Elbow drop for good measure. Sultan's getting in his groove now, and hits a running kick. Sultan press slams Rock into a spotlight! Geeze. He goes for the Camel Clutch right there on the glass, but Rock escapes somehow. Sultan is getting annoyed, and drops Rock on his head. Sultan tries to make a point with a test of strength....but Rock overcomes with FIGHTING SPIRIT. Rock gets Sultan in a Sharpshooter, but Sultan p