LogFAQs > #931103396

LinkPizza posted...

Yeah. Youd most likely have to stop... And thats true. Maybe you find out your father cheated or had a second family. Or one of you were putting up for adoption without either ever knowing. I know some parents that dont tell their kid they were adopted...

Sure, realistically, you'd be looking at one of three scenarios:
1) Your father had another relationship. If he was still married, the fact that it's unknown wouldn't be surprising. (Or, if the SO is older, it could be from a prior relationship.)

2) Your mom cheated on your dad with somebody else and your real dad is your SO's father.

3) You aren't related to either one of your parents. While adoption is one option, you could have also been kidnapped. However, if you've ever had a job (or got a passport), odds are you've probably seen your birth certificate so -- unless that was faked -- so this scenario seems the least likely.

4) The unlikely scenario that your parents had a kid before you which they gave up for adoption or, even less likely, that they gave up a younger sibling for adoption. The problem with this idea is that, unless it's a sealed adoption, one or both sides would know the heritage. Plus if you had two parents in common, there would likely be a far stronger familial resemblance which would raise a flag in your parents' minds.

Of course, for most of these scenarios to be feasible, you'd have to live around where the SO was born otherwise it'd be unlikely that you'd even meet. And the shared parent would need to not know about your SO's family (and probably the SO knowing nothing about your family), which is unlikely with any long-term relationship. So the only real scenario that checks off the boxes might be either a one-night-stand (probably with alcohol or drugs involved) or a rape where both you and the SO grow up in roughly the same region (although not too close together because then the shared parent might meet the other one)

Honestly, with all of the variables required to line up just right, it always seems strange to hear these stories because the odds are strongly against this happening on so many fundamental levels.

wolfy42 posted...

I mean as long as you don't have kids there really isn't anything wrong with it. So just get a vasectami (if your even opposite genders) or tubes tied, or both and don't worry about it.

It's still illegal iirc even if it's between two individuals who can't have kids (either gay or infertile). It's more of a morality-based law, I think. Keep in mind that the US is also one of the only nations in the world that has areas which forbid first-cousins from marrying.

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There are precious few at ease / With moral ambiguities / So we act as though they don't exist.