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Topic	"Teach men not to rape"
berlyman101 10/20/19 2:28:45 PM #71:	legendary_zell posted... Well the actual, real life situations where these things happen are confusing and ambiguous. That's the problem. We have to prepare people to handle that ambiguity and not just barrel ahead assuming they have consent. Just a little hesitation, a little questioning, a little thinking about the situation can help a lot. Equipping guys with those tools isn't maligning them or accusing them of all being animals or rapists in waiting. It's harm prevention. Just like in elementary school you actually do have to affirmatively teach all children not to simply hit people even when they're mad or frustrated or feel threatened. Some people wouldn't do it anyway but a lot more people will do it if you don't give them strategies on how to avoid it. That's a fair assessment. My issue is that there seems to be disagreement over the best way to teach it. We as a society can't even largely agree what constitutes self-defense or justified killings. Every state in the US and every country has their own laws and the results in trials differ wildly, so while everyone can agree that it's not OK to hit someone for taking the cookie you wanted, real adult life is way more complex and sex in our society is very complex. Teaching someone not to do something is grounded in the idea that there's a better way to get your needs met largely based in compromise. Most don't agree that sex is a right, however, and so a compromise in such a situation would be ludicrous. Sex is ubiquitously used as a bargaining chip, further complicating things. I think this is going to stay a mess for a while as long as we have this cognitive dissonance. --- http://www.lukesurl.com/comics/2010-02-24-determinism.png <cite>berlyman101 posted [p:929012168] in "Teac... [t:78099014]...</cite> <quote>legendary_zell posted... </cite> <quote>Well the actual, real life situations where these things happen are confusing and ambiguous. That's the problem. We have to prepare people to handle that ambiguity and not just barrel ahead assuming they have consent. Just a little hesitation, a little questioning, a little thinking about the situation can help a lot. Equipping guys with those tools isn't maligning them or accusing them of all being animals or rapists in waiting. It's harm prevention. Just like in elementary school you actually do have to affirmatively teach all children not to simply hit people even when they're mad or frustrated or feel threatened. Some people wouldn't do it anyway but a lot more people will do it if you don't give them strategies on how to avoid it.</quote> That's a fair assessment. My issue is that there seems to be disagreement over the best way to teach it. We as a society can't even largely agree what constitutes self-defense or justified killings. Every state in the US and every country has their own laws and the results in trials differ wildly, so while everyone can agree that it's not OK to hit someone for taking the cookie you wanted, real adult life is way more complex and sex in our society is very complex. Teaching someone not to do something is grounded in the idea that there's a better way to get your needs met largely based in compromise. Most don't agree that sex is a right, however, and so a compromise in such a situation would be ludicrous. Sex is ubiquitously used as a bargaining chip, further complicating things. I think this is going to stay a mess for a while as long as we have this cognitive dissonance. --- http://www.lukesurl.com/comics/2010-02-24-determinism.png</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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