LogFAQs > #925654042

I was with an ex-girlfriend for almost 8 years, although I was a few years little older than you during the relationship (age 21-28). I broke up with her a little over a year ago, but there are probably a few things from the experience I can impart on you, and I have a question for you as well.

Have you considered marrying her? If not, why not?

Maybe since you are a little younger you don't find yourself in the situation where all of your friends are getting married. Still, it's impossible to be with someone for 8 years and not to have at least thought about it. In my own situation, I sort of realized I didn't want to marry her after a few years, but fear of being alone and unwillingness to upset the status quo lead to the relationship lasting much longer than it should have. The relationship wasn't all bad times by any means, but I realized it wasn't going to last. The point is simply this: if there are other reasons why you haven't married her unrelated to this new geography issue, then it is probably not worth moving to Portugal for her.

If it's something that you've both talked about before and were both on board with the idea of getting married someday but wanted to wait until you were older, then it is a little bit more difficult of a decision. Just be a bit wary, especially if she gives you an ultimatum to either move with her or break up. If she does, that's her telling you that she values her family and place to live over you. It is not that there's necessarily something wrong with that, but if she is your number 1 priority but you are not hers, then it's probably not going to end well for you in the long run and you'll find yourself jumping through more and more hoops when she realizes what you'll do for her.

Also the long distance relationship idea is terrible, don't do it.
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