To make it as short as possible, I became friends with a woman five years ago at the place I worked. I developed feelings for her. She was seeing someone else. I let her know those feelings maybe a month after we started hanging out. She said we can be friends. I said okay. We continued to hang out, and things were okay for a while.
Then she started having second thoughts about her boyfriend. She started getting closer to me, but wouldn't leave him. I supported her as best I could, but I stopped myself from getting too close. Still she kept wanting to get closer. Despite saying yes to her boyfriend to marry him.
A little over a month ago, I told her that I couldn't be what she needed, and she couldn't be what I needed. I told her I needed time apart without contact. I needed to find someone for myself, and I couldn't do that if I was giving her attention. She said she'd respect my wishes.
That lasted three weeks.
At the beginning of July she contacted me, wanting an answer if we were done or not. I ignored her.
She showed up at my door an hour ago.
She wanted back a sketch she drew me for my birthday some years back.
I couldn't find it.
After she left, I texted her never to come to my house again.
Earlier today, I had a drawer full of memories of my time with her. Good memories that made me feel I was a better person.
That all has to go.
I can't look at that stuff without being reminded of the bad memories now.
Ya blew it. In some regard, I think you made the right decision, but I also legitimately believe something was probably there and you were probably too afraid to act upon it. ---
"Tried to point my finger, but the wind was blowing me around in circles, circles."