I live in Indiana. I'd rather put a gun in my mouth than live anywhere else in the Midwest, or even America. I've already been hospitalized once for suicidal inclinations, who knows.
Wow dude...hey can you you tell me more what that's like? I mean the suicidal inclinations and all. I'm just kind of interested to know more in case if I'm ever in that kind of situation. And yes...im actually being serious here.
Sure. I've lived with clinical depression for about 25-26 years. My mother tells others that she hasn't seen me happy since I was still a pre-teen. Something like suicidal thoughts or attempts didn't happen with me until I was in my early 20s. This tends to happen when you've never had any friends and never felt like you belonged in any school or group. That tends to happen when you didn't have a father growing up, which was the case with me. This is further worsened when you take into consideration that I also grew up with an older sister who physically and mentally abused me.
To reach a point in which you consider suicide usually comes after years and years of hopelessness. Sure, there are some statistical outliers where you see some teen jump off a bridge because he was bullied, but more often than not, depression is a slow-acting but very fatal poison that destroys you from the inside over the course of years. You see life as a zero-sum game, because zero good things have happened to you. I have also been afflicted with four years of insomnia. The eye bags convey this well.