LogFAQs > #912087704

It was more of a Japanese cartoon server, really. But to be honest, my Japanese is crap to begin with, anyway. I took only two classes on it. My own narcissism just prevented me from realizing it sooner until I had learned the fact by myself. This flaw of mine prevents me from believing things I'm told until I realize them for myself, and it disgusts me how self-centered I can be. Even before all this crap with the bloke, I got tired of learning Japanese. It no longer made me happy, and I was miserable trying to study. This is the main reason I quit. Learning Japanese just stopped being fun after a while. I had thought that learning with others would have made the experience more fun, but I was wrong.

Lots of people just didn't want to practice Japanese with someone who supposedly kept Google-translating every one of his sentences. On that Japanese-learning server, I have had so many bad experiences, not just pertaining to Japanese. Too many people kept assuming all this unnecessary crap about my life, like how I had no job, and how I'm some freeloader, and how fat I am. What bugged me more is that they kept thinking I was the type of person to create multiple accounts for the sole purpose of trolling the server. I have only ever had one Discord account, and no one ever believed me. I was always prone to being teased on the server. People on there always got into the habit of calling me a banana who knows nothing of his Chinese culture, and instead chooses to waste his time learning that of another culture. I was hated by so many people on that server, I could no longer keep track.

Eventually, I decided to quit, and made an announcement (like the narcissist I was) that I was leaving. Then I resurfaced a week later, then quit again for good after receiving all these hate messages that my psyche prevents me from remembering because the stress of remembering how people talked to me was too great for me to bear, even now, I can guess. I know I've treated a great many people badly on that server, but that was because holy bloody hell they were annoying beyond all reason. They were high-schoolers, middle-schoolers, and young adults who for some reason had sense to join their antics in giving me a hard time. Oh yeah, and they also thought that I always smoked marijuana and drank alcohol, for some odd reason. Was it because I always pretended like the previous day never happened because it's too painful to remember? I treated them badly, and I really have a hard time trying to process how they treated me, hence why I just try to forget the bad experiences in life, even if I have to pretend that they never happened.

But in the end, these experiences always resurface, causing me to lose a lot of focus and mental and emotional energy when I'm trying to do something that requires me to think. And when I start thinking of those times, I cannot even stop thinking. It just hurts. Sometimes I'm too depressed to use my rubber band to "snap me out of it", because it's just too much for me to handle, it feels like. They also always accused me of being a high-schooler, which is was just irritating as well. I feel like nobody from that server ever knew who I was. They always just assumed that they were right about me about anything I might have done and might not have done, and pretended that their assumptions were reality. It was purely exasperating. I could handle it no more. Anyway, I have gotten a little off-topic with the topic asking about how this Japanese bloke always hoodwinked me, and made me look like the complete imbecile he firmly believed I was.
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Number XII: Larxene.
The Organization's Savage Nymph.