LogFAQs > #904077502

SpiralDrift posted...

Fair enough on all that. I do think intentions matter, though. The person offering their advice may think they're being helpful even if they're not, and even if it's annoying it's not meant maliciously so I would cut them a bit of slack.

People offering their advice and opinions where it's not needed is just human nature and I don't think it's inherently bad. If it's ill-thought out or actually meant maliciously then yeah, that's bad, but that's usually the exception to the rule and I wouldn't lecture the ones who are actually good spirited about it for the faults of those who weren't.

I might be a little bit more cynical than you on this - it's true to say that people often have well-intentioned advice even if it's taken the wrong way - but I also think there's a lot of people who give advice just to be heard, or to win the conversation.

I think the true colours come out in those conversations when that advice quickly becomes an argument when challenged. If someone is really trying to help why would they lose their cool and press the point if the help isn't helpful?

Back to the heart of the conversation. With all of this stuff, I think us guys can get really defensive about it because we take it personally. We see it as an attack on our character or moral compass or principles, when really it should be a productive conversation about how to improve the collective behaviour of men and future men with awareness and education.

To simplify the catcall conversation. If you're not aware that it's not appreciated, you should be. If you are aware but you don't understand why, you can ask and find out. And if you are aware and you do understand but you still refuse to modify your behaviour because treating other people better is somehow an inconvenience to you, then don't be surprised if someone calls you toxic.
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