Just curious... do you feel the same way about religious extremism? Wouldn't it be just as valid to say that "but not all [religious denomination] people" doesn't help move the conversation forward? I'm sure you can see the problems with following this line.
Actually I do feel consistently about this. We're going way off topic here but on the subject of Islam as an example, I don't feel that the only problem with the religion is "a few nutjobs", and at the same time I don't feel that pointing out "most Muslims are peaceful lovely people" is helpful either.
Back on topic - my girlfriend deals with at least 1 or 2 instances of it every time she goes out running. That's 4x a week. So basically 10x a week she deals with catcalling. The other day it was 4 drunk guys slurring about her ass, as an example.
It's such a persistent and annoying problem that she plans her running routes and times around it. She avoids pubs and happy hour. She tries to go around parks where other runners are doing the same.
The point is, this is enough of a problem that it affects her life every day in not an indifferent way.
And what really irritates her more than anything is that when she brings up this problem-she's-dealt-with-ever-since-she-grew-breasts in casual conversation with men present, they'll provide their 5 minute hot take on how to resolve it like she doesn't already have an arsenal of strategies at the ready, like the problem is she just hasn't been smart enough/brave enough/tough enough to handle it. These men will give her the entire diatribe of hot tips on how to modify her behaviour but when questioned on the behaviour of the guys actually catcalling, will dismiss it as "lads being lads".
Yeah, I could see all of that being worth complaining about.
Fair enough on all that. I do think intentions matter, though. The person offering their advice may think they're being helpful even if they're not, and even if it's annoying it's not meant maliciously so I would cut them a bit of slack.
People offering their advice and opinions where it's not needed is just human nature and I don't think it's inherently bad. If it's ill-thought out or actually meant maliciously then yeah, that's bad, but that's usually the exception to the rule and I wouldn't lecture the ones who are actually good spirited about it for the faults of those who weren't. ---