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Topic	Girls tell me to show my emotions, but then make fun of and deride men who do
AdviceMan 01/17/18 9:57:06 AM #1:	I've often wondered about this, because I do think it's a problem, although its one that I perpetuate. I think it might be that fundamentally showing emotion, bubbling up in sadness, and openly weeping is looked down upon because it applies an unsolicited burden on people around you. When people cry, those around them seek to comfort them, and women, particularly white women, are told that their burdens SHOULD be socialized. Men are allowed to cry in extreme cases, but that's because the burden of those things are so extreme and so infrequent that people tolerate them and empathize with them. However, if a man is upset because someone insulted him and went off on how he feels about something, and starts openly weeping at a party, people gonna look at him like wtf dude. Because without realizing it, if you're the person at the party crying, this is a form of communication that other people must deal with, much like loudly talking to yourself on the train places a burden on those around you. In this society, men who regularly place burdens on other people are considered losers. It doesn't really matter the nature of those burdens, but from a lower order relationship, this seems relatively universal. I see a man crying on the bench alone, and I'm not going near that, because I assume the man wants to be alone. Now there are exceptions when you're closer. For example, my boy Victor got broken up with his high school sweetheart and there were a lot of tears. Victor is a close friend and I know how much the girl meant to him... so I could understand it. (Our patience wore out after about a month). So you might have a girlfriend or sister who understands your struggles, but that's the emotional codependence of a close relationship. Men who NEVER cry can generally get away with it once or twice. Men can also cry at movies (wipe them quick tears boyz). But from what I can tell, crying in public lowers your social status so women saying having to be tough is toxic masculinity seems like the best made trap i've ever seen. --- "I'm not racist but, BLM sure did make me racist." -Skasa I'm just here to offer you advice, take it or leave it. <cite>AdviceMan posted [p:894222350] in Girls tell... [t:76211312]...</cite> <quote>I've often wondered about this, because I do think it's a problem, although its one that I perpetuate. I think it might be that fundamentally showing emotion, bubbling up in sadness, and openly weeping is looked down upon because it applies an unsolicited burden on people around you. When people cry, those around them seek to comfort them, and women, particularly white women, are told that their burdens SHOULD be socialized. Men are allowed to cry in extreme cases, but that's because the burden of those things are so extreme and so infrequent that people tolerate them and empathize with them. However, if a man is upset because someone insulted him and went off on how he feels about something, and starts openly weeping at a party, people gonna look at him like wtf dude. Because without realizing it, if you're the person at the party crying, this is a form of communication that other people must deal with, much like loudly talking to yourself on the train places a burden on those around you. In this society, men who regularly place burdens on other people are considered losers. It doesn't really matter the nature of those burdens, but from a lower order relationship, this seems relatively universal. I see a man crying on the bench alone, and I'm not going near that, because I assume the man wants to be alone. Now there are exceptions when you're closer. For example, my boy Victor got broken up with his high school sweetheart and there were a lot of tears. Victor is a close friend and I know how much the girl meant to him... so I could understand it. (Our patience wore out after about a month). So you might have a girlfriend or sister who understands your struggles, but that's the emotional codependence of a close relationship. Men who NEVER cry can generally get away with it once or twice. Men can also cry at movies (wipe them quick tears boyz). But from what I can tell, crying in public lowers your social status so women saying having to be tough is toxic masculinity seems like the best made trap i've ever seen. --- "I'm not racist but, BLM sure did make me racist." -Skasa I'm just here to offer you advice, take it or leave it.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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