Mantra 3. Will Ferrell: Besides being a movie star, Will Ferrell has helped shaped the mind of the great American nation's present generation. While some young Americans rallied to Obamas campaign cry of "Yes, we can," a far larger number respond to Ferrell's terse but powerful message "That's just dumb."
His far-sighted views on diversity, "I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship, used during the Civil War era," neatly sidestep possible social stigmas of Indo-American dating, which makes him a hero to our cause. Familiarize yourself with his work and quote him frequently, and your American date is guaranteed to respond really positively.
You're my boy, Will.
Mantra 4. Organic food: Americans believe that organic foods cleanse their soul and their colon. They are really, really into it. Hand harvested, cruelty free, cosmetically unaltered potatoes may taste like the pure manure they were grown in but keep this to yourself. Politics, religion and Roman Polanski are safer conversational grounds comparatively.
Nothing says 'I'm rich but I still attend Burning Man' (draw the cultural parallel, link Dussehra) like choosing an organic foods restaurant for that crucial first date. Just make sure the desi diner serving keema parathas made in adulterated, hydrogenated and saturated fats is open late. Did you remember to request the sodium chloride free, manually churned, Vegan butter-substitute to go with those wholesome potatoes?
Yoga in NYCMantra 5. Be Yourself: This is not agony aunty advice. You have inherent qualities that are attractive to an American. Capitalize. Americans reward capitalism. You already speak an accented form of their language that reminds them vaguely of Hugh Grant and/or Princess Diana, in a good way. Go ahead and enunciate your vowel sounds, drop those h's. Send them text messages asking, "Your favourite colour??? " They'll be charmed, I'm sure. Many Americans deeply lament the lack of a second language/an ancient culture/access to good chai. So be proud of opening the door to knowledge, history and the finest Darjeeling.
But if you are addicted to franchised coffee, know more about rap than raga, and only really communicate in English, be yourself anyway. Those in the know say it's for the best. Left to me though, I'd recommend incorporating Sivananda yoga into the morning routine. Americans love yoga way more than we do. And like HuffPos dating expert indicated, they're secretly hoping for some limber tantric Kamasutra action. Truth be told, so are we.
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It will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you. | I did not come to bring peace to the earth, but the sword. -Jesus