There's more to it.
I've always had abandonment issues. Always feared people betraying me. She basically did both. When i thought my second girlfriend had done that... she was honestly protecting me, but I still took it as abandonment and it took me well over a year to get over her.
Not only that... I've abandoned some people I really cared about. At least that's how I feel. I worked at walmart, which is where I met this girl. Before her, there was another woman, she was about 10 years older than me.... I respected her more than I've ever respected anyone. I loved her, but in a different way. I would have done anything for her. i would have given my life for her. She went through so much crap that she didn't deserve. She was married to someone that didn't deserve her. But she had three kids. And I actually liked them. They would come into the store and I would actually interact with them and they liked me. I usually hate kids. But her kids were awesome. I just... I f***ing miss her, and all the people I left behind from that job. I feel like I abandoned them. I can't get over it. When I was with my girlfriend, it was easier to deal with because I felt like I had moved on with my life and found who I would always be with.
Then that went to hell, and I just... I made mistakes. I'm so sorry to those people I left behind. They liked me and I feel like they actually needed me there. And I abandoned them. I feel so terrible. I can't f***ing forgive myself for it.
I can't forgive myself for anything.
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~Halo Now you learn the mistake of challenging me.
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