^Good post. Thank you.
I wasn't trying to avoid her, but she decided we needed some time apart for good. So I went a whole month without seeing her. And honestly I preferred it that way. She also made it so I couldn't see any of her posts on facebook. At first I was concerned but then I realized that was a good thing. I didn't WANT to know anything about what she was doing. Not at all. I already thought that she was sleeping around but without confirmation I could just make myself believe she was having the "alone time" she claimed.
But she came over today to get the rest of her stuff. So naturally we had a conversation. And she couldn't help but reveal what she's been up to. And... I mean I've already been absolutely crushed by everything she had done prior to this. So I actually handled this better. But regardless, I'm still f***ing pissed. And I still love her and she still loves me and neither of us want to be rid of each other... I told her I'd still be her friend. But really... I just want to hate her. I do. It makes it easier when I just convince myself that she's a b**** and a whore and I hate her.
That doesn't seem mature to me. But when I try to approach the situation and her as a mature person, it just creates more pain. Convincing myself that I hate her is the only way I can protect myself now, it seems.
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~Halo You're not the brightest.
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