LogFAQs > #961962260

25. Everhood

Creating this type of list last year should have been a bit of a formative experience for me. I have a tendency to lapse in and out of writing projects I take on, almost inevitably resulting in a failure to complete said projects due either to an inability to accept my perceived personal flaws, or through overplanning the writing process and crushing my brain under an unnecessary weight of perceived burden and responsibility. In actuality, the importance of my writing is solely dictated by the enjoyment I receive from it. I am not doing this as a job and I know the amount of people who honestly read my work likely wont go past single digits. I have had much contemplation over these negative thought processes, and have sought many professionals for consultation concerning my personal feelings of being a failure. The result of this is still undetermined. I wish I could say that my successful effort of sticking to a large writing project, even barring it taking nearly half a year to do so, had fixed my indecisiveness. However, I was intending to make a BIG return to my writing, including a list of ideas for media-related articles and a rebranding of my personal Medium page. My first attempt at an essay was an analysis of 'The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD' from the sole perspective of using buttons only, and why this way of playing 'The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword' would be a horrible mistake for new players and an exercise in tedium for returning players. I began this article close to a month after the release of 'The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword HD', popping out a total of eighteen paragraphs over the course of two hours. I was about a quarter of the way through my argument and felt quite satisfied with it at this point. However, I have not returned to this article since that day, and I have, at this point, completely forgotten a majority of the things I intended to discuss. Those words gather dust in my drafts folder on Medium, and they will likely never leave the security of that folder unless I delete them, forever sending my memories into an endless void, never to be retrieved. I am left wondering why, exactly, I have yet to delete the article. I have lost all of my interest in finishing it up, yet at the same time I hold sufficient anxiety over the possibility I may need to complete it some day. But what value can be gained from completing this? I am evidently opposed to doing it out of personal satisfaction, yet Ive established I will receive no gratification from others seeing the finished product. When I think about my writing in this way, I become caught in a loop. What is the meaning of performing ones hobby? What is the meaning of value? What is the meaning of productivity? What is the meaning of this tired script we refer to as everyday life?

'Everhood' wasnt very good. At the time of writing these particular words, it is November 29, 2021 at 5:26 PM EST. At this moment I am nowhere close to finishing all of the games I want to play for the sake of completing this list, but 'Everhood' is pretty firmly lodged in the bottom spot, and I dont foresee anything slipping below it. If something does, I will still not edit this write-up, because any efforts at editing I make, no matter how small, always end up in me completely redoing what Ive written, and that doesnt sound like a good time. From the moment I write these words, they will be forever imprinted onto this page no matter how many falsehoods they contain. Noting the many flaws 'Everhood' holds would take a significant amount of time to write, and I will absolutely take all of the time I need. I fully expect all of the eyeballs which take the time to read my complaints will take offense, as the reaction to this game has been almost unanimous praise, but that is a problem for me to disregard and for you to seek the necessary professional attention based on how you decide to engage with my words.