LogFAQs > #959383279

Tom Bombadil posted...

I'll walk that point back a bit, then! Still find it hard to give him much benefit of the doubt, coupled with the wrong pronoun and the audience laughter and the everything else.

yeah, tbqh i was on edge for that entire segment- it had the same energy as a "my one black friend" story. and comedians lie all of the time (not like a dead person is going to disagree...)

Tom Bombadil posted...

Yep, but his experience is still that he is a man. For a lot of people, even his experience back at the time was that he was a man forced into a woman's role. Either way the general rule of thumb is to speak of them as if they were always that gender, because that's generally how we see ourselves. Even if we weren't out yet, or hadn't figured ourselves out yet, or were doing a gendered activity.

This is another reason why i think these conversations are so dicey- I can't really have an intelligent conversation about this unless we've decided whether there is a difference between being a man and a woman and what that is. whether it's a role or something inherently magical, like a soul

if "father" is a role... then things would be one way. if "father" is not a role but an identity, or a conjugation of "parent", then it is another way

i have some complicated situations in my family that are just a complete mouthful to explain, and we just kind of use abbreviations for the sake of brevity

again, and i'm losing steam a bit, in practical everyday interactions i don't have any issues with any of the above. when someone cares about something, you allow them that and leave it alone

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You did indeed stab me in the back. However, you are only level one, whilst I am level 50. That means I should remain uninjured.