LogFAQs > #958246683

littlebro07 posted...

The one thing Ill regret for the rest of my life is not being with my wife when she found out. I went to all the appointments up to 20 weeks and then started a new job and planned on going to the ones with ultrasounds after that and then the last few checkups before birth. We had no reason to believe anything would go wrong since the odds of losing one after the first trimester are extremely low. IIRC a stillbirth is only like 1 of every 160 births in the US.

When were ready to try again, assuming the tests come back and say we can safely try again, Im not missing a single appointment.

Yeah, after last year I haven't missed one and won't.

I would recommend some therapy to help you both recover. A lot of the time the focus is on the mother (understandably so), and the father doesn't get the support or even the time to grieve because they're trying to help the mother. Make sure you take care of yourself too.

As my wife said to me last year after the miscarriage, "they tell you to put oxygen on yourself first on planes before helping other people".

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...for it is better to be alone than in bad company.