LogFAQs > #950645669

Sunday evenings for me are generally a time of reflection when I think of things that I don't usually think of, to remember long past times. Tonight while I was taking a shower, I thought up the idea of writing about this. I have a friend who has told me before I should do a podcast so I can put things like these in a better format, and I think that's mainly because he thinks that they're interesting, but I don't find anything I say unique or interesting.

Well tonight, I remembered back when I would talk to random people online for 8+ hours straight during the AIM/MSN days. Most of this time was before I posted on PotD, and all of this was before reddit really took over social discourse. I met these people mainly on small forums, or they had been real life friends and coworkers. We would just like talk about random stuff. Apparently I was someone interesting enough to hold a conversation with for 8+ hours straight. The last time I really remember doing this was with a girl I had been working with, and we just talked about random stuff on my 24th Birthday (I remember this specifically because it was the 2nd season premiere of Orphan Black, and I had binged watched the first season days before).

What I've realized is that I don't do this anymore, and apparently other people still do this so it must have been a life change that happened to me. This came up, mainly because I've been a bit forward on joining some discord channels recently (one of which was for one of my favorite utaite, which I talk about from time to time in the Anime thread). I think if I were younger, I'd be more socially active in these communities, but I mainly use them now for rarely asking questions and stream notifications. To this day, I only really talk in 2 Discords (one is a group I have been apart of for ~5 years, and the other is related to Star Trek Online), PotD, and a few image boards (which by design, I keep myself anonymous).

I can't place any specific reason why I'm not as social as I once was. My main theory is that I am unhappy with my current life, and as a result have low self esteem and a distrust in opening up to strangers that I grew sometime in my mid-20s due to the changing shape of the internet. Oh and depression, that despite knowing how to fix, I don't want to fix as it would potentially burn a bridge I don't feel comfortable burning.

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You're a regular Jack Kerouac