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Topic	Work crush is literally only 19
Fizaga 02/04/21 11:14:01 AM #67:	Sad_Face posted... This isn't necessarily due to age but inexperience (they're not mutually exclusive). I had friends who had ample dating experience but still were unprepared for their relationships that ended up flipping their worlds and made life 10000x more difficult. But it is true that the biggest boon of a younger girl is that she's more malleable and willing to learn while someone OP's age has had her ideals forged by years of life experience which would make it very difficult for her to adapt to a different lifestyle. This makes a difference if you're aiming for a grand life goal that involves a good deal of risk. I don't know what OP's ambitions are so these things may or may not matter to him. This is true, but I think it goes deeper than that. I've done the younger woman thing twice, one ended badly and the other (my current GF as it happens) is going well. The key difference is that while my GF is younger than me, shes older than the one that went badly. Ironically, the one that went badly was 19 when it all started. It wasn't something I went into lightly, I had just gotten out of a very bad long term relationship so my mindset was like "okay, I'll give this a chance". I was as fluid as possible about it all, and still, loads of problems started to occur. The biggest problem was what we wanted from each other. Which was ironic because I wanted to take things slow, but she pushed quite hard to move faster. But she ended up confusing the hell out of me, talking big and then freaking out about it when I eventually started to come around to that. I think when someone is 19/20 they're starting to get ready for serious relationships so toy with the idea, but just aren't there yet. It causes problems, and we were just discussing the possible future, not actively planning anything. Then there are ambitions, even though I was more tied down than her I was really flexible, but it was almost impossible to draw any compromise. That was definitely an age thing. Also, arguments tend not to resolve themselves well. Needless to say, it didn't last and we both ended up getting hurt when it ended and I wasn't doing that again. A short time later, stuff started to develop with a friend. She was also younger so I was way more hesitant about it, but people around me encouraged me to give it a go. While she was younger, she was in her early 20's and its been a totally different experience. Both mostly on the same page, progressing at around the same pace, planning stuff wasn't stressful, both flexible, everything is good and normal. We have a great relationship. People change a lot between 19 and their 20's. I think 19 is just too young, if someone is younger I think they need to be in their 20's for you to be at all on the same page with stuff. So yeah, TC, you're making the right choice. From experience, it doesn't tend to work out well. --- DS - (ix) I helped with a game: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/world-war-b/id1096584665 <cite>Fizaga posted [p:950270112] in Work crush... [t:79277047]...</cite> <quote>Sad_Face posted... </cite> <quote>This isn't necessarily due to age but inexperience (they're not mutually exclusive). I had friends who had ample dating experience but still were unprepared for their relationships that ended up flipping their worlds and made life 10000x more difficult. But it is true that the biggest boon of a younger girl is that she's more malleable and willing to learn while someone OP's age has had her ideals forged by years of life experience which would make it very difficult for her to adapt to a different lifestyle. This makes a difference if you're aiming for a grand life goal that involves a good deal of risk. I don't know what OP's ambitions are so these things may or may not matter to him.</quote> This is true, but I think it goes deeper than that. I've done the younger woman thing twice, one ended badly and the other (my current GF as it happens) is going well. The key difference is that while my GF is younger than me, shes older than the one that went badly. Ironically, the one that went badly was 19 when it all started. It wasn't something I went into lightly, I had just gotten out of a very bad long term relationship so my mindset was like "okay, I'll give this a chance". I was as fluid as possible about it all, and still, loads of problems started to occur. The biggest problem was what we wanted from each other. Which was ironic because I wanted to take things slow, but she pushed quite hard to move faster. But she ended up confusing the hell out of me, talking big and then freaking out about it when I eventually started to come around to that. I think when someone is 19/20 they're starting to get ready for serious relationships so toy with the idea, but just aren't there yet. It causes problems, and we were just discussing the possible future, not actively planning anything. Then there are ambitions, even though I was more tied down than her I was really flexible, but it was almost impossible to draw any compromise. That was definitely an age thing. Also, arguments tend not to resolve themselves well. Needless to say, it didn't last and we both ended up getting hurt when it ended and I wasn't doing that again. A short time later, stuff started to develop with a friend. She was also younger so I was way more hesitant about it, but people around me encouraged me to give it a go. While she was younger, she was in her early 20's and its been a totally different experience. Both mostly on the same page, progressing at around the same pace, planning stuff wasn't stressful, both flexible, everything is good and normal. We have a great relationship. People change a lot between 19 and their 20's. I think 19 is just too young, if someone is younger I think they need to be in their 20's for you to be at all on the same page with stuff. So yeah, TC, you're making the right choice. From experience, it doesn't tend to work out well. --- DS - (ix) I helped with a game: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/world-war-b/id1096584665</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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