LogFAQs > #942228807

DespondentDeity posted...

You have a really powerful story, I'm grateful you decided to share. I'm really proud of you, and I'm so happy that you are living as you now and that you have supports to turn to when things get tough. You and your boyfriend are so beautiful and cute. :)

It took me like 15 years to figure out how toxic my family was and how deeply their abuse had brutalized my self esteem. Even now, my grandma recently texted me a family photo captioned "You were missed" when I wasn't even invited in the first place let alone a sociopath that would fly to Arizona in the midst of this pandemic. I wanted to call her out on it but I would rather not be involved at all with her gaslighting and guilt tripping, and for the first time as an adult I realized that's a choice I can make for myself.

Maybe someday, your family will come around and decide to see that you are living in a way that expresses your true self, and that you're now a more complete person for it. Either way the fact that you've come as far as you have is a testament to how strong you are. Here's a song for you.

The Uncluded - Teleprompters

https://youtu.be/meYMsri6VIU

You saw that picture? Thanks. :)

I feel that though. The last time I saw my parents was earlier this year at a funeral for my little cousin. It was incredibly awkward, and my dad deadnamed me right off the bat. Thankfully, I was able to sit away from them with some of my extended family who don't share their bigoted views. It was still really weird, because I really hadn't seen most of them in like a decade, but I was glad I went.

Thanks for all that. I'm not too optimistic at this point, though I was never all that close with them to begin with.

MacadamianNut3 posted...

Well as a kid I always had dreams about wearing a lab coat and doing some random ass research (since little kids don't know shit) that requires a lab coat. Ignoring the brief period in high school where I thought I was gonna be an architect, that part kinda came true since I have a doctorate and I'm a robotics researcher but unfortunately no lab coats are involved. At least not until I help create EVAs

I also thought I would be married by now by copying my parents who grew up together and had me at 24, since I also had that kind of relationship with a girl in my neighborhood for 6 years. Right before middle school started we finally cut the kiddie crap and admitted we liked each other and started dating. Then my family moved at the end of my first semester of 6th grade and that relationship died, and I have yet to have another relationship that rivals what I had back when I was scamming other dumb kids for their Pokemon cards during class breaks. I've dated plenty since then, but I didn't put myself entirely out there during those times because it was always a lingering thought of "what happens when I graduate from high school/college/grad school and move" which is kind of true since for each of those milestones, I've hopped to different states. That on top of attending two middle schools and two high schools.

So I'm like 1/2 for vague dreams from childhood

How old are you now? I moved around a lot as a kid too (and as an adult too I suppose, but the distances between each move have been much shorter) I think it can be difficult to allow yourself to get attached to a place or the people there when you've grown so accustomed with moving, but you shouldn't let it dictate your life, and deprive yourself of some fulfilling relationships.

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