remember I once kissed a girl after spending like two hours talking with her over coffee. She was smiley and kind of shy, and I remember thinking the date was going really well.
She actually got pretty upset that Id kissed her, because shed never kissed anyone despite being 22 at the time, and argued with me about it for a few days after the fact. Like Id somehow forced myself on her and stolen that moment, when Id merely leaned in and pecked her on the lips as we hugged goodbye.
But what if I was up for some prestigious award and she came out and accused me of grabbing her after an uncomfortable two hours and forcing my lips on hers. She wouldnt technically be wrong if thats what happened from her perspective.
So the question is whether I was predatory for going in for a kiss I thought she wanted, in part, because she didnt stop me. People arguing in bad faith dont think theres even a question. And on the other end, its people who think all women are evil. So theres no arguing in these cases. Youre either fully supportive or youre a monster.
But a libelous public statement demands the conversation, and I honestly think attacking Joes reputation over an incident where no violence occurred is inappropriate. All these events are framed from the perspective of a meek individual in a way that makes them sound like calculated attempts to isolate her. It really just sounds like two socially awkward people learning to navigate boundaries. And judging by Joes response, this might be the first time hes heard this perspective and thought nothing serious had occurred.
Right but what were the power dynamics of the situation? You're in public, you're not meeting under false pretenses, you haven't tried to liquor her up ahead of time, and (unless you left this out) you have no power or prestige over her. I don't think anyone would care about that accusation, even if they believed it was true.
When you are in Joe's position, you KNOW that there's a power dynamic at play. You're using the promise of connections, etc. to get this person in the situation and there are particular actions that I feel like can't just be seen a different way from his viewpoint (trying to keep her away from her phone, trying to cast aspersions on her friend, etc.)
