LogFAQs > #941036271

Very few people are fundamentally beyond forgiveness. With that said, don't sacrifice your own mental health because of his threats. I deal with this sort of thing all the time in medicine, and it's a very common manipulation tactic - shifting the guilt to the victim. Somehow making his mental health your responsibility.

If you think he's a fundamentally good person on the inside but is trapped by the mental illness of addiction, get him help, but don't let him play you. I had a relationship like this in college - it's one of the reasons I'm a lesbian now. The memories are just too much for me to bear. I've forgiven him and tried to get help for him, but he hasn't forgiven himself. Not worth my time anymore.

I will say - my dad had an alcoholism problem. One day, he got so violent that he hit me and my mom. She told him that she would leave him if he ever drank again, and he hasn't had a drop of alcohol since. I've completely forgiven him, and legitimately admire him for it. I've never had alcohol because of his example.


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Well allons-y, Alonso!