LogFAQs > #940298413

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/05/opinion/whites-anti-blackness-protests.html

But brazen as ever, white people who have my phone number are finding a way to drain my time and energy. Some are friends, others old co-workers and acquaintances Ive intentionally released from my life for the sake of my peace of mind. Every few days I receive a bunch of texts like this one, from last week:

Hi friend. I just wanted to reach out and let you know I love you and so deeply appreciate you in my life and your stories in the world. And Im so sorry. This country is deeply broken and sick and racist. Im sorry. I think Im tired; meanwhile Im sleeping in my Snuggie of white privilege. I love you and Im here to fight and be useful in any way I can be. **Heart emojis**

...

When you text me and tell me youre just thinking of me because this fear is momentarily evident to you after seeing the atrocities depicted on CNN, you create work for me. You invite me to coddle you and respond to you and tell you that its not your fault and that you are special. That attacks my dignity. That dehumanizes me.
When you tell me I can share my feelings with you, it is an act of forced intimacy and prods at the detachment Ive purposefully built up over time. You force me to excavate deeply painful feelings Ive buried for my sanity and to avoid offending you. Because I know offending you is dangerous.

When you tell me I dont have to respond, you rob me of the last shred of agency I have in this unwanted exchange by giving me permission to do what I already would have done.

So please, stop sending #love. Stop sending positive vibes. Stop sending your thoughts. Here are three suggestions on more immediately impactful things to offer instead:

• Money: To funds that pay legal fees for black people who are unjustly arrested, imprisoned or killed or to black politicians running for office.
• Texts: To your relatives and loved ones telling them you will not be visiting them or answering phone calls until they take significant action in supporting black lives either through protest or financial contributions.
• Protection: To fellow black protesters who are at greater risk of harm during demonstrations.

Yes, these actions may seem grave. But you insist that you love me, and love requires sacrifice. Text messages are unlimited on most data plans. Emojis are not sacrificial.

Sounds extreme, should going to a protest be a prerequisite to keeping friends?