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TopicAre you ever tormented by your own mind?
Lost_All_Senses
05/30/20 4:31:07 AM
#24:


Pitlord_Special posted...
It doesn't happen much for me but there are times I get up, go into the bathroom, look at myself in the mirror, and the first words out of my mouth that day are "you disgust me".

I guess to me it's like there's a bully that lives in my head who comes along every so often to remind me of what a terrible person I am and of all the ways I never live up to my potential and other peoples' expectations of me, and since it lives in my head, it can pull out all my memories and use them against me to prove I'm as terrible of a person as it says I am.

However I'd say in general I have a rather apathetic view of the past. I don't use social media at all because I don't want to hang on to the people in my past or connect with anyone I used to know. I don't take very many photos and the ones I do have I never print them or display them in any way. At most I'll send them or show them to people more to illustrate a story I'm telling rather than having any emotional connection to whatever it was. I just think of the past as garbage and have a hard time understanding the people who carry their regrets around like a big old monkey on their back.

I vibe with all this except the "disgust" part. I don't really resent myself anymore. I definitely look more favorably upon myself on different days. But I bottom out at "meh"

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