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TopicGeez, why are like 75% of you in some type of inescapable pit of depression?
KogaSteelfang
01/25/20 4:10:39 PM
#70:


Because my life sucks, I have no control over any of it, I've suffered a great deal of pain and abuse, and everytime I reach out I get insulted or tricked into a false friendship.

I was actually a very positive person until about 4 years ago. My life didn't bother me much back then and I had hope for the future. I don't have that any more. I thought I found a supportive place to post and express how I felt, but when I truly opened up, the support vanished and turned into contempt for me. I ended up stuck in a negative cycle, trying desperately to find more support just to end up even more hated. It deteriorated my mental health fast, and confirmed all the negative thoughts I had about myself.

I can't even have online friends any more because I end up just using them as emotional band aids. I'm nothing but an emotional parasite. No one cares about me, the few that I thought did were lying. I don't know what they got out of it, but it ended up hurting me a lot.

I'm not worth anything to anyone. That's just how it is. I'm an awful person, I don't deserve happiness. I'm just beaten down, tired, and want this to stop, but it won't. I just have to push through all the misery with the only things to look forward to is seeing a movie or buying a game.

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Work in progress, please be patient.
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