LogFAQs > #932210563

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Topic	Should a trans person reveal they are trans before a date?
hockeybub89 12/29/19 6:48:35 PM #318:	2Privileged4U posted... It's not at all ridiculous to expect all PEOPLE to be honest about very basic information. Since when did the gender of the person you're dating become "personal information?" You don't get to violate BASIC dating etiquette just because you've got baggage associated with your identity. You can't pick and choose when you want to be treated like everybody else and when to be treated special just because you're insecure. This "have my cake and eat it too" approach is counter productive to the inclusion goal. Trans or not. That's for everybody. But if you feel like something as basic as your gender should be withheld from somebody you're trying to find a romantic spark with, you might wanna consider that you're not ready to date. Just not in a place in life to even have a partner because you still need to work on you first. And that's okay too. Btw, I don't mean YOU personally the vast majority of the time I used "you." But DO apply it wherever it fits. Their gender is not secret. Transgender is not a gender. It is perfectly normal and human for someone to not share their baggage with someone before they are comfortable with them. A trans woman is a woman. Whenever she becomes comfortable enough to share more information (now or later), it will either end the relationship or not just like any other potential dealbreaker/preference. Special treatment is expecting trans people to not handle privacy like every other person and instead tell you things on your schedule to save you a potential headache. My entire point has been how not special being trans is. Another person may or may not be attracted and information may be shared immediately or over time depending on the personality and experience of the trans person. Just like anyone else. 100% of people would vote that world peace would be ideal but that doesn't mean world peace is going to happen. 90% of people agreeing on an ideal does not automatically make it feasible. No one demands people share their other personal baggage in case of dealbreakers. Wouldn't it be ideal if a woman told a man she was mentally ill? Most men would probably not be attracted to mental illness if a stranger told them she had it. Is it common courtesy for those women to remove themselves from the pool? --- http://card.psnprofiles.com/1/NIR_Hockey.png http://www.last.fm/user/hockeybub89/ <cite>hockeybub89 posted [p:932210563] in Should a t... [t:78287691]...</cite> <quote>2Privileged4U posted... </cite> <quote>It's not at all ridiculous to expect all PEOPLE to be honest about very basic information. Since when did the gender of the person you're dating become "personal information?" You don't get to violate BASIC dating etiquette just because you've got baggage associated with your identity. You can't pick and choose when you want to be treated like everybody else and when to be treated special just because you're insecure. This "have my cake and eat it too" approach is counter productive to the inclusion goal. Trans or not. That's for everybody. But if you feel like something as basic as your gender should be withheld from somebody you're trying to find a romantic spark with, you might wanna consider that you're not ready to date. Just not in a place in life to even have a partner because you still need to work on you first. And that's okay too. Btw, I don't mean YOU personally the vast majority of the time I used "you." But DO apply it wherever it fits.</quote>Their gender is not secret. Transgender is not a gender. It is perfectly normal and human for someone to not share their baggage with someone before they are comfortable with them. A trans woman is a woman. Whenever she becomes comfortable enough to share more information (now or later), it will either end the relationship or not just like any other potential dealbreaker/preference. Special treatment is expecting trans people to not handle privacy like every other person and instead tell you things on your schedule to save you a potential headache. My entire point has been how not special being trans is. Another person may or may not be attracted and information may be shared immediately or over time depending on the personality and experience of the trans person. Just like anyone else. 100% of people would vote that world peace would be ideal but that doesn't mean world peace is going to happen. 90% of people agreeing on an ideal does not automatically make it feasible. No one demands people share their other personal baggage in case of dealbreakers. Wouldn't it be ideal if a woman told a man she was mentally ill? Most men would probably not be attracted to mental illness if a stranger told them she had it. Is it common courtesy for those women to remove themselves from the pool? --- http://card.psnprofiles.com/1/NIR_Hockey.png http://www.last.fm/user/hockeybub89/</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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