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Topic	Should a trans person reveal they are trans before a date?
DrunkieBrewster 12/28/19 9:03:54 PM #272:	Musourenka posted... DrunkieBrewster posted... Not having your time wasted is a shared concern, so why not respect it by being up front before the date? That's mutual respect. Most people don't like the idea of spending time and money on somebody deliberately withholding information that could make or break the date plan, so why play silly games? Dating is not easy for trans people. They are in a minority within a minority. There's little that can be done about finding a mate with ease when you're trans. Because the choice to withhold this specific information is not simply a matter of silly games. If transpeople were respected as much as cispeople, then you would be correct here. You are right that it isn't easy and that we're still figuring it all out. So far, we've seen that withholding info isn't the best route, though. People in general hate to feel catfished. Trans people aren't a special exception regardless of the reasoning behind it. Even many trans people aren't down with that method. Again, mutual respect. An individual cannot claim to be a respectable person(or demand respect) when they're willing to enter somebody else's life under deceptive pretenses. If you go on a dating site and find somebody clearly looking for something specific in their profile, it's intellectually dishonest to pretend that you didn't know what they meant. Self accountability applies to everybody. If this basic act of courtesy is something that can't be agreed upon without trying to put a disingenuous spin on somebody else's argument or trying to move the goal post(like what's going on ITT), then there is no incentive to engage that person or even continue paying attention. As a person, their character is a turn off. A deceiver will deceive you in multiple areas of life, not just one. It's never isolated. But I can agree to disagree with you. Sometimes it just seems like people usher in their OWN self fulfilling prophecies by sabotaging it before somebody else gets a chance. We all have insecurities, but nobody else should have to share the burden of somebody else's self image. --- Oh, Drunkie... BiggLaw alt <cite>DrunkieBrewster posted [p:932175623] in Should a t... [t:78287691]...</cite> <quote>Musourenka posted...</cite> <quote>DrunkieBrewster posted... </cite> <quote> Not having your time wasted is a shared concern, so why not respect it by being up front before the date? That's mutual respect. Most people don't like the idea of spending time and money on somebody deliberately withholding information that could make or break the date plan, so why play silly games? Dating is not easy for trans people. They are in a minority within a minority. There's little that can be done about finding a mate with ease when you're trans.</quote> Because the choice to withhold this specific information is not simply a matter of silly games. If transpeople were respected as much as cispeople, then you would be correct here. You are right that it isn't easy and that we're still figuring it all out. </quote> So far, we've seen that withholding info isn't the best route, though. People in general hate to feel catfished. Trans people aren't a special exception regardless of the reasoning behind it. Even many trans people aren't down with that method. Again, mutual respect. An individual cannot claim to be a respectable person(or demand respect) when they're willing to enter somebody else's life under deceptive pretenses. If you go on a dating site and find somebody clearly looking for something specific in their profile, it's intellectually dishonest to pretend that you didn't know what they meant. Self accountability applies to everybody. If this basic act of courtesy is something that can't be agreed upon without trying to put a disingenuous spin on somebody else's argument or trying to move the goal post(like what's going on ITT), then there is no incentive to engage that person or even continue paying attention. As a person, their character is a turn off. A deceiver will deceive you in multiple areas of life, not just one. It's never isolated. But I can agree to disagree with you. Sometimes it just seems like people usher in their OWN self fulfilling prophecies by sabotaging it before somebody else gets a chance. We all have insecurities, but nobody else should have to share the burden of somebody else's self image. --- Oh, Drunkie... BiggLaw alt</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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