LogFAQs > #932058938

My best friend says the f slur because he thinks it's funny, and is pretty viscerally anti-trans at points. I've known him since high school, and if he starts getting bad about it I comment on it. He's personable enough around everyone, including gay people, but if he ever got into a trans person's face and called them mentally ill or something, I would probably scold him.

Considering how much of a lefty I am, why am I friends with someone like that? Because we have a very similar sense of humour which leads to excellent banter. Outside of the shitty stuff, we're on the same wavelength where we can just talk about the worst stuff and laugh about it while everyone else thinks we're insane. That kind of friendship takes years to form, and our mutual sense of humour is one in a million.

I would also say that we're probably the most comfortable around each other. I'm a bit of an emotional crutch when my friends are going through a hard time, because I don't change much and they know I care. My friends are more extroverted than I am, so they facilitate conversations and help me interact with other people. This best friend is the social lynchpin of my entire friend group, without him I wouldn't know 3/4ths of my current friends and a lot of people wouldn't have met each other. In return, I pick him up when he falls over and offer a familiar experience, even when things are shit.

I hate when he uses the f slur, like I physically cringe. I hate it. And like I said, if he slagged off a trans person on the basis of their gender identity, I would side with the trans person. But we're such good friends otherwise, and we give each other the space we need politically. We're actually pretty close politically, it's just the identity stuff where we differ.

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