LogFAQs > #930858670

I was in a cultural center yesterday listening to some heritage music and watching the associated formal dance.

The cultural center was what's known as a "pub", which is where Scottish people spend literally all of their free time. The song was the much traditional "500 Miles" by the historical music group "Proclaimers". To dance to this music, one must bob up and down in no more than a quarter-squat motion, attempting to perform a single bob per beat of music. Your arms should make fists and perform hammer movements, or alternatively clap to an entirely different time signature of your own choosing. With all of this, one must liberally apply rubato.

Coupled with this complex series of movements, one must engage in impromptu group singing. While Africa has it's mbube choirs and America its Barbershop Quartets, a choir arrangement in Scotland is more free form. Indeed, there is no need to adhere to a harmony, melody or really any particular rhythm. A series of guttural "eeeeaaah, ooooaaah, hooroora your army! Havering to youooouu" is customary.

Following this, it's traditional to engage in courtship rituals with whoever you just spilled your drink on. For full cultural immersion, it should be Tennants, and the ritual should begin with the phrase, "aw fuck, I didnae see you there hen, y'alright?"

I welcome any and all visitors to Scotland to share in this much celebrated high art form we tend to summarise as "getting pished."
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CE's Resident Scotsman.
https://imgur.com/ILz2ZbV