LogFAQs > #926428332

Very.

Dad used any excuse he could to hurt me when I was younger, ranging from me not having the same hair or eye color as him to him just wanting to feel powerful. He's also a cheater who disrespects my mom any way he can. He constantly threatens to kill one of us if he doesn't get what he wants, and it's generally just a bluff... except he has tried to kill us before, so it's pretty stressful sometimes. I'm 100% certain he's a narcissistic psychopath/sociopath, he literally only cares about himself and how things affect him. To him we're just his servants or something, we're just here to do as he pleases. This is his 2nd marriage, and when his first wife left him he destroyed her car with a baseball bat.

Mom is more decent, and kind, but has a very controlling streak. She feels being a mother grants her absolute authority in the lives of her children, despite us being adults. She'll manipulate to get what she wants and doesn't care if it hurts anyone else. It seems to be all about staying control with her in every area except what my dad decides. It's a coping mechanism though, to deal with how my dad treats her. She has no control of her life and takes it anywhere else she can. She can become violent and physical when things don't go her way too though, I can't even tell you all the things she's beaten me with just because she was upset and I was there.

My brother was the golden child, my dad is so proud of him. His first born... he learned quickly that he could do no wrong. Mom thought so too apparently. It became a game to him to do things like break dishes right in front of my parents then tell them I did it, just to see what they'd do. I always got punished, so he grew up with an attitude similar to my dad's that he was better than everyone else and that he could intimidate people. That changed when my dad tried killing us and he realized he was in danger too and it put them at odds with each other.

Then there's me, the loser of the family. No one thinks anything of me despite me being there for them every time any of them need something. It's just my role to support my parents in any way possible and get nothing in return. I feel like I'm just getting used up, and that I've wasted my life living for them instead of myself.
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